My fiance hurts me in his sleep

25% Normal
5 Comments

He doesn't mean to hurt me, it's not like he's hitting me or anything but he squeezes. He spoons me and then just starts squeezing as hard as he can (he's bruised my ribs before) and I have to punch him in the side like 5 times before he lets go. And god forbid he gets his arm around my neck. We went to the doctors to see if it was like a seizure-type thing or catatonic but the results came up clean. He was a soldier in Ukraine when he was 18 up to 22 but the doctor told us that's not enough to check for PTSD. He's 27 now, and I've been making him sleep in the couch for the last week which I feel awful about, but I'm kinda scared to fall asleep (I'd never tell him I was scared though)

My guy friend tells me he always squeezes his pillow really tight when he sleeps and he says to put a pillow between us, but I really want to be able to cuddle with my fiancé.

Voting Results
25% Normal
Based on 16 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • Ellenna
    6 years ago

    The doctor you saw is obviously VERY ignorant about PTSD: it can be caused by a single incident and I'm sure in 4 years he would've had many bad experiences.

    See another doctor and in the meantime keep yourself safe. I have two questions for you: have you asked him if he remembers what he's dreaming during these incidents and are you certain he's asleep?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      I'm pretty certain he's asleep, he always comes out of it very groggy and confused on what's happening. If I'm not able to reach around and pinch or hit him awake he is often super quiet and wakes up like any normal person does. He says he isn't dreaming at all when it happens, or that he ant remember what he was dreaming about, he's usually very embarrassed about what happens and doesn't want to talk about it too much. It upsets him.

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      • JonathanOo
        6 years ago

        use the pillow.. You can still be close to him. Or before you sleep. I doubt ptsd will just go away

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  • Jenjen
    6 years ago

    Your doctor is terrible. Get a second opinion. It is possible to have PTSD for whatever reason, even for something he doesn't remember. It could also be a sleep disorder, like sleepwalking. You should try talking to him about meditation and relaxation techniques as well as talking through things. They would be the free things to do. If you are looking at the medical route, get a second opinion, find someone who is a bit more specialised, maybe find a sleep clinic. You can get apps on phones and watches to monitor his quality of sleep. Have a sleep diary and look for patterns.

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  • Diego35LovesHilda29
    6 years ago

    Break up with him before he kills you.

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