Your father was physically abusive to you when you were growing up. I'm also guessing he kept you at arm's length emotionally. Now that you're not a little child who is dependent upon him for all your needs, he wants a more normal father-child relationship without having put in the foundational work necessary to build and nurture such a relationship - not likely to happen. It's like throwing a seed into dirt, completely ignoring it - except to stomp on the seedling from time to time - and then expecting that plant to bear nourishing fruit for his enjoyment later on. You don't owe such a person your love simply because he planted the seed that, in spite of his abuse and neglect, became you. You are your own person now, and you need to do what is best for your life - not his.
My father feels like a stranger.
← View full post
Your father was physically abusive to you when you were growing up. I'm also guessing he kept you at arm's length emotionally. Now that you're not a little child who is dependent upon him for all your needs, he wants a more normal father-child relationship without having put in the foundational work necessary to build and nurture such a relationship - not likely to happen. It's like throwing a seed into dirt, completely ignoring it - except to stomp on the seedling from time to time - and then expecting that plant to bear nourishing fruit for his enjoyment later on. You don't owe such a person your love simply because he planted the seed that, in spite of his abuse and neglect, became you. You are your own person now, and you need to do what is best for your life - not his.