My fake feelings and emotions.

..I seem mostly calm about this result in what I searched ...because I kno I'm not the only one .. But instead of most..my emotions only show when I'm happy I don't have anger sadness or anything else ...but even when I'm happy things just don't feel real..I can remember being like this since I was born.. My mom accused me of being a socialpath..because I don't show my emotions/ I can't feel them... I didn't barley notice this till my most recent gf ..she has a emotional problem I though to my self..because her emotions wer crying an anger an happyness..although I broke up with her bc I couldn't handle it..she came back to me... An I wasn't happy then I was hoping she would just not care like I do in relationships...but she cared.. Anyway.. At least I'm not the only one... An about the sadistic part... I wouldn't say why I do is sadistic... Because I don't like to play with people emotiontions instead I run from them beacause I don't kno how to handle/support people with crazy emotions is just makes me so mad..and truly that's only when I feel mad...I have these moments..I don't kno if I'm the only one but I call then my moments of clairaty .. It's when I all the sudden shut down an cry for no reason..although it has only happened twice..I don't kno I I'm the only one who has this or why I do I just wish I wouldn't have to blame it on being socially akward an a social outcast...