I think it is less about the term itself (which, by definition, does mean that a woman who sleeps with multiple men in a short interval IS a slut, the above posters ARE correct) and more about how the user of the term FEELS about the concept of sexual promiscuity. To many people, being a "slut" or an erotic woman of sorts IS an acceptable lifestyle. The term slut becomes negative when the person using it is using in in a manner in which they are indicating that living that lifestyle is a bad thing and is a poor character trait for a woman to have, or otherwise degrades the woman's character.
So define slut however you want it, but if you are using it as an insult, it is going to be insulting no matter what. And the second example you are describing sounds like a woman who is insecure and has self-esteem problems, but could also be called a slut as well.
Either way, the problem that you are attempting to identify is not a problem of the word itself, rather than a problem of people being simple-minded enough to think that the possession of ONE "negative" character trait (such as sexual promiscuity) is enough to degrade the entirety of a woman's character and having that character trait is good enough reason alone to look down upon that woman and associate her with the aforementioned crazy slut, when the reality is for many women, their lifestyle is not nearly so dirty and crazy. They are just doing what humans enjoy doing, getting laid.
My definition of a slut
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I think it is less about the term itself (which, by definition, does mean that a woman who sleeps with multiple men in a short interval IS a slut, the above posters ARE correct) and more about how the user of the term FEELS about the concept of sexual promiscuity. To many people, being a "slut" or an erotic woman of sorts IS an acceptable lifestyle. The term slut becomes negative when the person using it is using in in a manner in which they are indicating that living that lifestyle is a bad thing and is a poor character trait for a woman to have, or otherwise degrades the woman's character.
So define slut however you want it, but if you are using it as an insult, it is going to be insulting no matter what. And the second example you are describing sounds like a woman who is insecure and has self-esteem problems, but could also be called a slut as well.
Either way, the problem that you are attempting to identify is not a problem of the word itself, rather than a problem of people being simple-minded enough to think that the possession of ONE "negative" character trait (such as sexual promiscuity) is enough to degrade the entirety of a woman's character and having that character trait is good enough reason alone to look down upon that woman and associate her with the aforementioned crazy slut, when the reality is for many women, their lifestyle is not nearly so dirty and crazy. They are just doing what humans enjoy doing, getting laid.