If you're in the younger teens, I wouldn't see too much wrong with it. It is kind of weird that he asks, but maybe he doesn't know how to treat you now that you're growing up? Either way, he KNOWS it doesn't look good if he only asks when it's just the two of you.
I still sometimes sit in my dad's lap if there isn't other seating available, but he never asks or tells me to. It really just depends on what type of family you have. Are you a fairly touchy feely kind of family or do you put each other at a distance?
Also, being a teenager, your hormones are going crazy blah blah blah, so it's normal to feel that way, but perhaps you should avoid sitting on your dad's lap for awhile until you can rein in those feelings. Maybe redirect those energies onto someone at school that's your own age?
I knew everyone else would immediately hop on the pedo train, so I thought about offering a different perspective. Plus nobody really addressed OP coming into her sexuality which is a pretty important aspect of the teenage experience, and it doesn't always lead to the best decision making (I say this as a fellow teen who has made a lot of those bad decisions).
The use of the term "pedo train" is denigrating of anyone who's experienced child sexual abuse; it's not a "train" it's a violation.
OP's age makes it even more important that the adults in her life, and especially her father, don't relate to her in a way which leads to confusion about her sexuality. If he has no ulterior motive why does he make sure no-one sees her on his knee? Sounds like the first stage in the grooming process to me, trading on her affection for him as her father.
It shouldn't be up to her to draw the boundaries, it should be up to the adult, but I hope can say NO to this AND talk to her mother or another supportive adult about it.
I meant more like they would automatically assume the worst of a person. I used the word "train" as in a train of thought, so "hopping on the pedo train" meant more like they would automatically assume that train of thought. It's not referring to the actual issue of sexual abuse at all.
I did point out that he KNOWS it doesn't look good in the first paragraph no matter the outcome. He knows it's wrong. I'm not denying that at all. I was simply providing an alternative viewpoint for OP, but I never dismissed the possibility of sexual abuse. It could be that he is grooming her. It could be that he doesn't know how to interact with her now that she's getting older. Only her dad knows his own intentions.
It did occur to me this morning that maybe I should have added something about talking to a teacher or other trusted adult about it, but I decided to wait and see if I could get a reply out of OP.
my dad tells me to sit on his lap
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If you're in the younger teens, I wouldn't see too much wrong with it. It is kind of weird that he asks, but maybe he doesn't know how to treat you now that you're growing up? Either way, he KNOWS it doesn't look good if he only asks when it's just the two of you.
I still sometimes sit in my dad's lap if there isn't other seating available, but he never asks or tells me to. It really just depends on what type of family you have. Are you a fairly touchy feely kind of family or do you put each other at a distance?
Also, being a teenager, your hormones are going crazy blah blah blah, so it's normal to feel that way, but perhaps you should avoid sitting on your dad's lap for awhile until you can rein in those feelings. Maybe redirect those energies onto someone at school that's your own age?
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Ellenna
8 years ago
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Good reply
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PinkHairedFreak
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I knew everyone else would immediately hop on the pedo train, so I thought about offering a different perspective. Plus nobody really addressed OP coming into her sexuality which is a pretty important aspect of the teenage experience, and it doesn't always lead to the best decision making (I say this as a fellow teen who has made a lot of those bad decisions).
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Ellenna
8 years ago
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The use of the term "pedo train" is denigrating of anyone who's experienced child sexual abuse; it's not a "train" it's a violation.
OP's age makes it even more important that the adults in her life, and especially her father, don't relate to her in a way which leads to confusion about her sexuality. If he has no ulterior motive why does he make sure no-one sees her on his knee? Sounds like the first stage in the grooming process to me, trading on her affection for him as her father.
It shouldn't be up to her to draw the boundaries, it should be up to the adult, but I hope can say NO to this AND talk to her mother or another supportive adult about it.
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PinkHairedFreak
8 years ago
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I meant more like they would automatically assume the worst of a person. I used the word "train" as in a train of thought, so "hopping on the pedo train" meant more like they would automatically assume that train of thought. It's not referring to the actual issue of sexual abuse at all.
I did point out that he KNOWS it doesn't look good in the first paragraph no matter the outcome. He knows it's wrong. I'm not denying that at all. I was simply providing an alternative viewpoint for OP, but I never dismissed the possibility of sexual abuse. It could be that he is grooming her. It could be that he doesn't know how to interact with her now that she's getting older. Only her dad knows his own intentions.
It did occur to me this morning that maybe I should have added something about talking to a teacher or other trusted adult about it, but I decided to wait and see if I could get a reply out of OP.
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Ellenna
8 years ago
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Thanks for that response: I don't think our views are all that different, except I did assume the "pedo train" term was other than you meant it to be.