My brother did this to me

58% Normal
47 Comments

It was over 20 years ago, but I still hold this against my brother and mother.

I had met my first love and couldn't have been happier. She flaimef to love me back. Long story short, after a couple of years my brother and her were seeing each other behind my back, sometimes at my mothers house, while my mother certainly didn't approve, she did cover for him (I hope to keep me from getting hurt). It went on for a long time until my friends got together with me and let me know.

I'm not sure which part of it bothers me the most... me working all over the country and paying rent while my jobless brother was living at my house on my bill and screwing my gf or the fact that my mother was hiding it all from me. Either way, I've never talked to my brother since and have only spoken to my mother when relatives have died. I even missed my grandmothers funeral because I knew they would be there. My ex gf was killed a few years later by an angry wife who caught her with her man.

My sister also disowned them for abuse by my brother that our mother turned a blind eye to.

Am I holding onto this for too long? Should I let it go and forgive them? Or am I better off without two sociopaths in my life?

Voting Results
58% Normal
Based on 31 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 47 )
  • Annie25
    6 years ago

    I think its completely normal if you dont talk to them after what happened, you dont need that kind of negativity in your life.
    If I were in your place I'd continue my life without them. I wouldn't forgive them, especially your brother. Ever

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      I think you're right. I have a good life and they would only disrupt it. Thanks hun.

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      • Annie25
        6 years ago

        Anytime😘

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          6 years ago

          <3

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  • S12207
    6 years ago

    That's terrible and I wouldn't talk to them either. Also in a weird way your brother did you a favor. Imagine if you kept going with this girl and she's obviously doesn't mind cheating, what if you got married or had a kid a or something and then found out I think it finding out sooner then later what kind of girl she really is better. Don't miss out on anymore funerals though. Just go there and put your chin up and be happy and don't talk to them. What goes around comes around and they will get what they deserve all in time.

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  • nikkiclaire
    6 years ago

    Im biased but I think You are better off without them. Ive recently disowned my father and brother and i will never tak to them again even tho they are the only family i have.

    I don't regret it for a second. I get sad but no regrets.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      If you don't mind me asking, what did they do hun? Abuse? Screw you over?

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      • RoseIsabella
        6 years ago

        I'm kinda wondering the same thing.

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        • Yennifer_Of_Vengerburg
          6 years ago

          Yea this is getting spicey I'm interested now too

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          • nikkiclaire
            6 years ago

            It's not spicy fuck stick it's my life, so take a ticket and you might get a clue.

            I posted literally all of it on here.

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            • Yennifer_Of_Vengerburg
              6 years ago

              Maybe it was salty

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            • RoseIsabella
              6 years ago

              I don't think it's spicy.

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          • RoseIsabella
            6 years ago

            It's not spicy. It's interesting, but not spicy.

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    • RoseIsabella
      6 years ago

      That sounds pretty deep and heavy, but I also figure they must have done something pretty awful.

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      • nikkiclaire
        6 years ago

        Seriously? Where were u when this went down?

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        • RoseIsabella
          6 years ago

          I dunno, but I fucking hate abusers! Maybe you think I was being sarcastic in my comments, but I'm dead serious. I've had some crazy drama with family in my life, but it's never been so bad to the point where I had to disown anyone. I do think that abuse, molestation, thievery, and betrayal among other trickery are legitimate reasons to disown someone.

          Anyway, I wasn't trying to be a smart-ass.

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          • nikkiclaire
            6 years ago

            Sorry I did think you were being sarcastic hun. My apologies.

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            • RoseIsabella
              6 years ago

              No problem.

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          • mrydan28
            6 years ago

            She had sex with her bro, and friends he filmed it. Stopped sleeping with him, but continued giving oral. Had rape, degradation and fantasies of sleeping with her dad. He read her iin postings, him and his friends got rough with her and gang banged her. Now she's a lesbian.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              6 years ago

              wow! Poor girl. Makes what I've been through seem mild.

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            • nikkiclaire
              6 years ago

              Im not a lesbian because of that. I've always been bi,that event turned me off men and at the same time I fell in love with a girl he (wbsfl) hates. Even tho he's never even talked to her.

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            • nikkiclaire
              6 years ago

              Pretty accurate but really you had to pipe up?

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  • Tammysnice
    6 years ago

    Your mom is a bonefide cunt - your brother sounds hot and your girlfriend got what was coming to her

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Haha. Does he sound hot because of the bad boy thing? Believe me, he's only had two girlfriends in his life, bland one was my gf. He lives off of our mothers money and can't even keep a job. He's not a bad boy, miss. He's a complete loser.

      He's been accused of child abuse, though it wasn't proven, and beat up a 16 year old boy because the only fight he could win is against a kid.

      You girls and your bad boy obsessions. I'll never get it.

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  • Someoneudontknow
    6 years ago

    He saved you from a bad gf, if she cheated you that means she didn't love you so after her you could be able to find a nice girl that loves you and won't cheat you

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  • JonathanOo
    6 years ago

    Forgive them and try to forget. It's sad all the way around

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Forgiveness, I think I can do. Forgetting will never happen.

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      • JonathanOo
        6 years ago

        Unfortunately:( Just try and make sure that cloud doesnt always hover above you or You'll never have good days

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  • slave1
    6 years ago

    mom should have told you... that's not cool

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  • e51pegasi
    6 years ago

    Whatever you decide to do you have to let it go. Forgive, move on & if I were you I'd forget.

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    Those two people, especially your brother, are not normal. I don't know about your mom, but I think it would be best to remain estranged from your brother. I think if your mom wants you to make up with your brother then I would want to keep her at a distance.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      I would never get to know my mother again without my brother being there. They have an eerily close relationship for mother and son, which outside people have noticed. However,I'm not planning on being around them much. Im just considering letting them know I forgive them.

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      • RoseIsabella
        6 years ago

        What do you hope to accomplish by telling them you forgive them?

        I'm not saying you shouldn't forgive, in fact I think it's awesome that you have been able to forgive them, but if it were me I'd be wary of saying an unsolicited, "I forgive you", as I wouldn't want to give them the impression that I'd invited them back into my life.

        To tell you the truth I've always had difficulty forgiving people who have hurt or betrayed me in my life, because I never want give them the impression that whatever they did was okay, nor would I ever want them to feel that I want them back in my life. If some someone fucks me over I prefer to remain estranged from that person. I did have a mentor sort of person in my life a few years back who helped me to learn how forgive people, and the thing she said that helped me the most was that, "forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation". It's funny to me, because I'm a Roman Catholic and reconciliation is another word for the sacrament of confession. In my own mind I started personally thinking that God has very broad shoulders and that only with God would forgiveness automatically mean reconciliation. Of course all of this mess is just my personal opinion. Sorry if I went on a bit of a tangental personal rant there.

        Regardless I respect that you've been able to bring yourself to forgive your mother and your brother. To me the act of a sibling having intimate relations with my significant other would be a very deep betrayal. Of course it takes two to tango, I would certainly blame a soon to be ex-partner for the infidelity as well.

        I wish you all the best of course, and my heart goes out to you.

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        • RoseIsabella
          6 years ago

          P.S. I re-read your post and think it's really creepy that your mom was able to turn a blind eye to the abuse of your sister by your brother. It's as if he's her special baby, and can do no wrong or something. Eww!

          I hope your sister is doing well. I feel for both of ya'll.

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            6 years ago

            Yes, they have a strange relationship for mother and son. We have had a couple of mutual acquaintances over the years and they have mentioned it to me. I can remember that when we were kids my sister and I would serve ourselves during meals and she would ask him what he wanted and make his plate and bring it to him. Even at that age my sister and I thought it was strange.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          6 years ago

          I want to forgive for my benefit, not theirs. It gives me a feeling of strength to be able to do that. I am worried, though that reconciliation will be expected by them and that may not be the best for me. We all know that toxic people have an adverse effect on our lives, and toxic family can destroy our lives.

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  • Yennifer_Of_Vengerburg
    6 years ago

    Anyway they are fucked by the sounds of it they need reported not forgiven

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  • dumb_guy
    6 years ago

    Ummmm, I don't know. Go read comic books.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      I've tried comic book therapy with limited results.

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