My boyfriends mom is really pushing me to the edge.

The problem was she wouldn't even give us a chance to prove we weren't going to do anything. We haven't done anything but the only thing that really kind of fixed it was him going to college but that didn't even fix it all the way, he has a curfew now of 1:00am instead of 12:00am. Even though at school he can be out as late as he wants and do whatever he wants. She still asks him to cuddle him and hug her and is constantly touching him. How I have reacted to it is that I don’t keep my mouth shut really, I’ve been speaking my opinion and she’s gotten snippy a few times. Most of the time we don’t even go to his house to hang out anymore, we just go to mine. This is not an easy thing to deal with and can be very stressful; most of our arguments are because of her. What he needs to do is say STOP, my boyfriend has finally stood up to her and said stop touching me so that has her doing it less, but she still does it also, sometimes how I handle it is just by pretending I don’t see it or pretend it doesn’t bother me but I will normally tell him how I feel as soon as we leave the house. We are now actually getting married; we will be together almost 6 years, and will be almost 21,. If you have any more questions I will be more than happy to answer them and if I did not answer this one good enough please let me know and I will try to explain it again. Going through this sucks and it is always good to have someone to talk to about it.

I hope this made sense.

OK - what it is: his half-insane mother is an overbearing control-freak who treats her adult-children like 4 year olds, has no respect for them or their lives, and has probably crippled them emotionally.

One daughter got smart and blew the hell out there.

Where is he (bf) at? Because if he doesn't get a spine and stand up to this pathetic woman, for his own good as well as yours, life is going to be miserable: for you.

It is not your job to deal with her. Do not get stuck in a triangle between you, her & him. If he can't stand up to her and demand to be treated with respect, and to simply call he big bluff and behave his own age, then you are sunk.

2 other things. You are young. I hope you aren't being pulled in emotionally to be on some sort of rescue mission for this guy. He needs to deal with his mother.

Second, stick with school no matter what. Its your best bet. Good luck!

stay cool, finish your schooling. just think, this woman will become your monster-in-law. if you do end up getting married, consider moving far far away.

I have a boyfriend with a mom like this. And he has a sister who lives with us and I just recently confirmed that she is reporting every fight I had with my boyfriend to their mother. Bravo! I want to leave the apartment and leave him altogether. He did not stand up for me. I hope he just marries his sister if they think their family is so special which is not - mother is a smoker, father is a drunkard, an older brother who is a drug addict. She doesn't want us to fight (which is impossible for normal couple) but she is beaten by her husband (my boyfriend's father). I don't think I want any part of this family.

It definitely made sense, and his mom is the same way with touching him and stuff but the thing is, is that really you can't win with her. If he stands up to her (especially if it's over me) she goes psycho and threatens to make it to where he can't see me. I haven't accually tried talking to him about it because the time me and his friend joked about it, well when we told him he got really defensive. but I can't help that it bothers me. I wouldn't dare say anything to his mom because that would cause something alot worse. I guess talking to him is the best I can do for now... Maybe. I mean he has a few months til he turns 18 and can work on getting out. So, I might just let it go and save myself any trouble it might cause between us. But I'm happy to hear that you and your man finally got married and I hope it turns out good for you two :)

Okay, I found this by typing " my boyfriends mom is always all over him "
On google and I found your story. I deal with alot of the same stuff you do. His mom isn't as strict as your guys sounds. She used to let us always be alone and stuff and sleep together and keep the door closed and go places alone... UNTIL we were walked in on.... You know what I mean. Now we cant have the door shut and we can no longer sleep in his room and she almost always wants to go with us when we go places now. She just won't get over it. And she tried saying our relationship is nothing but sex and fighting... Like she knows. it ticks me off more then anything. I like my privacy with him. But enough about that. One day me and my bf's bestfriend were joking ab how much we don't like his mom
And he threw out this comment ab how he thinks she has some "incest thing" towards him. Already I had thought weird stuff ab her because I notice she is always all over him and like you said hugging him in ways mothers shouldn't. I hate seeing it. Its not like I'm jealous because ik he hates her. I just don't like seeing her touching him because I don't like her myself. She always kisses on him and calls him baby and tells him she loves him all the time but it's not in a "motherly" way. In a way I'm alot like you with wanting to marry him or move away with him as soon as possible to get him away from his terrible home life an mainly his crazy MOM. p.s. There's many of other things she does that makes me not like her but I didn't wanna go on about it lol. I just would like to know what you do or think or think you should do when his mom is being like that. Cause now idk how I should be reacting.

To be honest I agree that she may really have a mental illness and I don't describe her that way because we don't get along very well this is the honest truth of how she acts and she’s worse in person then she is on here. I made her sound like a saint on here but anyways we have told her to knock it off but she just doesn't believe us. Good news is my boyfriend is out of the house because he went away to college on Sept 4. He’s about 2 hours and 20 minutes away :( but he’s coming back this weekend for my birthday, only problem is that his mom won’t let him stay in her house because she thinks he should stay up there for 6 weeks without coming home it’s not like he’s coming home because she doesn’t want him to and he would stay up there this weekend but he’s coming home because it’s my birthday. So I’m going up to get him so I can see him on my birthday and she’s not happy about that so she looked at him and said “you cannot stay in the house over the weekend you will have to stay with someone else”. She has some major issues and I am having so many problems dealing with it so most the time I just stay away from her. Can anyone tell me how to keep my sanity and also can anyone help with how to deal with him away at college so far away?

Thank you everyone for your help. He finally started standing up a little for himself. I'm staying with school and he leaves on Sept 4th for college. This are a little normal, but shes still psycho and i still can't really stand her but all of you have helped tremendously. We are going to just take it day by day and see how it goes and we will get married when we are ready. They are all emotionally disturbed, especially his little sister.

Is he willing to give up the life he knows ,no matter how much he may not like it at times, and get married? Or are you the only one ready for that step?
...and you're both 18 and want to get married I don't see why not, but if he's planning to go to college he will get more freedom

You didn't give info on his reaction to all of this. He is the one allowing his mother to behave as such...what are his ideas on the matter?

sorry you're goin through this man!!you must REALLY love him!!so why is it that he can't move out??there's a wonderful program called student loans..he can use it for living expenses if he would rather go to school full time.lots of people do it..

The whole thing is He can't do that and i know this is hypocritical ( as i said in a comment to Sonar i was mad and venting)but like sonar said i should just bear it, i want him to be able to have a car and car insurance and health insurance. I've wanted to marry him for a long time and i was being a little drastic in my post. I don't want him to loose everything. I just need help dealing with the situation. Should i just sit here and deal with her crap or should i say something? I wont get married now anyways though because i don't want to disappoint my family. I'm gonna finish college first then see where it goes from there.

I feel for you and your boyfriend. I dont know why you are saying marriage though. Why does he not just move out? He can get a job and he may not have the finest clothes and may be hard financially but he would make it and you could help him if you wanted to. I moved out of my house at 18 and my husband moved out at the age of 19. It can be done. You dont have to get married.

Since this is an anonymous site there is no repercussions directly in Real Life. Also user names can be changed in an instant.

Think about this: Do you want to get married because want to share a life with you boyfriend and you think that you will have wonderful life with him or... is it that you on some lvl dispise his mother and once you are married to her son you can exact revenge somehow since you will then have say in your huband taking this power away from her?

Im sure you have real feelings for you boyfriend otherwise why would you allow yourself to be willing annoyed by his mother.

But its a balance. Do you love him more than wanting to exact revenge or does your wanting to exact revenge outweigh your love for your boyfriend? Does your boyfriend want change and is he man enough to do it himself.

Sometimes we do things in life that we regret and not for the right reasons. If its the latter then you should realy reassess your relationship you have with this man.

Just remember this if he is using his parents resources he does to somee degree need to comply with their wishes unless he can support himself and you. But even if he can support himself and you do you think it will be a good idea to have a never ending saga between you and your mother in law?

If its spitet then you must ask yourself grinding horns with your boyfriends mother now, will it be the same in many years to come when she is your mother in law? If your boyfriend is worth it then you should respect your future mother in laws wishes and you get your boyfriend to tackle this issue if he has
any gall. If you try to demand change it will only end in pain for all.