My boyfriends ex tkilled me with kindness.

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7 Comments

My boyfriends ex and him have mutual friends who i've been friends with a long time too. I just recently met her at a party , my boyfriend really couldn't care less if she was around him or if i was around her . Throughout the night she kept staring at us and while i was outside she talked to me and right away was loud and friendly. She tagged me with the nickname '-----!'and she was all compliments and made sure all our friends knew she was being kind to me and then asked me questions about my relationship with my boyfriend . She would say things like " how are you and tom?? " and then come back with " oh im so happy for you two!!! you two seem amazing together . Hes so amazing. Dont think theres any hostility!!! " and then she would bursnt out saying something like " You have to realize you cant do anything for him ,you have to be your own person and you have to make sure he tells you he loves you everyday " . Then she would proceed to tell me cute stories they shared and would ask me the same thing , if he let me fart? And i found it strangely invasive and odd.
I have to admit she got into my head , in such a nice and subtle way.We ended up talking about their break up and how she had broken up with him to go back to her ex boyfriend , ( i knew she was unhappy with her ex though she mentioned it and same with my boyfriend) She said she felt terrible about the way she had broken up with my boyfriend and that she just missed him and wanted to be friends with him and needed to talk to him but he wouldnt really let her. And by the end of the night i told her if she had any unfinished business with my boyfriends she was more then welcome to talk things out with him and i was fine with it ( although my boyfriend really said he didnt care about resolving their past because he didnt care he finally agreed he would talk to her if she really wanted to. ) she was so happy because she said they really did need to fix things and she wanted to be friends with him becaus ein her words " HE IS SUCH AN AMAZING GUY WITH THE COOLEST OLDER BROTHER!"
I dont understand it at all , it was the strangest feeling , like she was somehow killing me with kindness. Should i be her friend or even approach her next time i see her? She was nice thats for sure , but i didn't feel comfortable with it , i felt almost played.

Oh by the way at the end of the night i got in a fight with my ex because she somehow got into my head and i told him i needed more from him , and we broke up for a week. How crazy is that?

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60% Normal
Based on 25 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • truthfairy
    12 years ago

    Let me get this straight:
    1) She called you a bitch and made you believe it was a cute nickname
    2) she got you to doubt how much he likes you
    3) she got you to set up what sounds like a couple therapy session when you know her current relationship is going to shit.

    All in all, I think you shouldn't be allowed to vote, because you don't seem to know when you're being played "bitch"!

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    You know one of my former coworkers use to pick fights with people. She'd make a snide comment and - if you responded - she'd take that as an opening to pick a fight.

    We learned to ignore her when she did this... don't give her the "opening" she wants and she wouldn't pick the fight.

    That's something to consider when you think about that party.

    Yes, it's ... easier... to blame the girl for everything... but ....
    It's also something you could have stopped from happening too.

    In all honesty, you could have ignored her comments. You could have simply told her you didn't want to discuss it with her.

    But you didn't. You gave her the opening she wanted and then invited her to have it out with your boyfriend too. And then fought with him about it apparently...

    That's the main point... She offered you the bait... but no one forced you to take it.

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  • babaG
    13 years ago

    How is it her fault? You let her into your head and broke up with your boyfriend. I dunno what kind of guy he is, but it was your choice.

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  • Heh?
    13 years ago

    She nicknamed you "bitch?"

    Also, what was your reply to the farting question? You should not disclose such an odd question without your awkward response! Out with it, you anonymous tease!

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    • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
      12 years ago

      If that was the nickname ... then you really need to rethink whether or not she was being "kind" to you.

      In all honesty you should have followed your boyfriend's lead and ignored her.

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  • MercedesBenz
    13 years ago

    She sounds like a manipulative bitch. Keep your relationship with her at arms-length, be civil, conduct acquantance-like conversation only. If she asks you any invasive questions again say, "I dont know if that is an appropriate conversation right now" or "Tom and I like to conduct our private lives behind closed doors" or "I am sorry but Tom and I are very private with regards to our relationship." All of your relationship information is none of her business, no matter how nice she is being. She is manipulating you to get the dirt, then twisting and contorting the facts so you feel inadequate and question your entire relationship, and boosting her confidence and giving her the upperhand in the conversation. Essentially-- you got mindfucked. Learn from it and do not let it happen again by her or anyone else.

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  • Jen118584
    14 years ago

    Yeah, she's being a typical female. Don't talk to her. Be civil and friendly if you are forced into a situation with her, but don't actively converse with her. Smile, nod, and walk away, and put her out of your mind. Your boyfriend is with you now, and from the way it sounds, he has no interest in being with her again. She sounds like a floozy.

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