My boyfriend used slightly abusive language?

you are overreacting. period.

"My boyfriend used slightly abusive language?"

Slightly? I wouldn't worry much with it, many people are worse.

Suck him off and see if that helps your relationship. If not try sucking me off!!! It will definitely enhance ours. Good blowjobs are fundamental!

I can understand why you would think he'd be "abusive"- especially with him saying that he feels really bad and wants your forgiveness (Typical cycle in abusive relationships).

Did he tell you the situation on how and why your bf told his bff this information? Did he accidentally say it to him? Did he say it to him on the spur of the moment, or just blabbed it out cause he felt like it?

Although I do think that he overreacted... a lot.

Ok. This is my opinion, and having been in one abusive relationship that ended with police reports and medical attention, I believe I havce an idea about abusiveness. If this guy is a Christian, he wouldn't use that language. Period. If he loved you, he wouldn't use that language or gone crazy when you said you had trust issues now. If he has been a nice, caring, supportive boyfriend, he was probably hiding a side of him, though 11 months is a long time for that. Whether he is abusive or just overreactin, he could be potentially dangerous. Look at it this way...if you saying that his breaking your trust makes you doubt that you can trust him makes him go off on you like that and break up with you (which seems like a massive overreaction), think what might happen if he gets upset about something else - something bigger. You can no longer anticipate his reaction to anything, since this one was so completely different, so don't put yourself at risk. He is so not worth it. You are worth more than that. Be the good Christian girl you seem to be and forgive, but don't let him back in. Potential danger is there.

I agree^ you both are overreacting. He shouldn't have told or blown up. And you should understand it's his best friend. I tell my bestfriend everything. I feel if I don't I'm hiding things and I'm untrustworthy. I wouldn't tell anyone else. And I trust her not to tell. We have the bond. So it's safe, maybe he and his friend has that. And if they do he trusts him enough to tell.

You're both overreacting.

Well it's understandable why he swore, but he obviously went overboard by wanting to end it. He did let you down by telling something you had told him in confidence,but you might be overreacting thinking it's abusive. You never know though it may turn out that way. Every relationship has its ups and downs though, you should really tell him how you feel about it, you can't fix it if you don't, if you even want to.

He's totally normal. You are overreacting!!!! That wasn't even close to abusive. You should talk to a therapist about you being over sensitive...it might help.

When a guy does something like that that is totally out of character you are right to be suspicious and mistrustful. If you decide to stay with him make sure he knows that he betrayed your trust and he will need to make it up to you by treating you nicely. Whatever you do DON'T APOLOGIZE! You did nothing wrong. If he continues to act that way just leave him because you deserve much better.

if you are worried about it turning abusive i would suggest you watch his body language. i use terrible language on a regular basis. but if his body language made you scared then i would probably let things go.

I wouldn't call that abusive. When somebody is acting abusive, they're doing something specifically to hurt you emotionally or physically. It seems like he said those things because he was frustated, the main purpose wasn't to hurt you.

your well over reacting, i swear all the time when i talk, i dont mean anything by it. and to be honest if he was pissed off by what was said he swore because he was angry, dont take it personally.
hope it works out for ya though

In my opinion he already had the conversation you two had in his mind before you two actually had it.... and your remark was probably the "worst case scenario" and he freaked. He probably worked himself up to being honest and had to get stuff off his chest to feel better....and THEN goes and gets defensive! I wouldn't say he's abusive in any way right now. Make him work to earn your trust again and do yourself a favor and know, whatever this personal and juicy secret was, happened in the past..he was embarrassed and felt guilt over the "issue". But, mainly it was in the past and keep that in mind. Remind him he's in the doghouse (if he is) but you two need to work on trusting each other again.

Wow, sounds like my hubby. Be careful... it could get worse. I hope not, for your sake.

In making a confession, he was making himself vulnerable. He was trying to be honest with you, which can be quite difficult for some people. Perhaps, he was unprepared for the response, which he perceived as overly judgmental. And, this triggered his reaction.

Or...

Maybe there is more to this than meets the eye. The fact that he never swore to you, but suddenly used this new language so fluently, suggests that he has been on his best behavior with you, all this time. The question is, why for 11 months?

The sentence, "I've already wasted enough time," seems very interesting and revealing. As you are anonymous, hopefully you won't mind my speculating as to what is going on here.

I'm going to take a wild guess that you and your boyfriend are NOT sexually active. He has been patiently waiting these 11 months for this to happen. He may have talked to his best friend about it. In any case, after all this time, his frustration has come to a boil.

Assuming this is true, he was expressing sexual frustration, and not signs of being abusive. This is perfectly normal.

The relationship may be doomed at this point. And, it's up to you to decide what you want to do, and what values you choose to hold. But, you will find out a lot more about a person if you sleep with them, then if you don't.

I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that he's abusive, but of course I don't know him any more than what you wrote. But here's what I think about the language ... maybe he doesn't feel comfortable expressing anger or strong emotions. Maybe everyone has always expected him to be "good" and he's always had to be cautious about his anger, and he keeps it inside most of the time. Then sometimes when he's just filled with too much emotion, he can't help but explode a bit. I'm describing from personal experience within my family.