My condolences, and I've been in a similar situation in my life. I understand.
I highly suggest that you go... and don't worry about making a scene. People will easily forgive you about that. You just lost your love in life.
Later in life you will understand that there are only 2 thinks that you take to your deathbed. The memories and evidence of your successes in life - and your regrets in life.
I too once did not attend a funeral of a close friend in high school. It's one of my bigger regrets in life.
Not only that - but his family and other friends noticed my absence - and that affected a lot of other things afterwards as they could not understand why I did not attend; and essentially shunned me (and it cost me my best platonic GF at the time, who I was hoping to start having sex with that summer).
Please go... and at least tell the family that you miss him so... It's totally OK if you cry, act up, etc. It's totally OK to tell his and your family that you don't know if you can hold it together. Everyone either knows that you were his SO, or will be immediately told. No one will hold it against you.
You may also find others will console you and perhaps tell you similar stories about their experiences... which often brings at least some relief (you are not alone in feeling how you feel).
It's also OK to ask your family, friends, and even his family for support to help you attend because you are falling apart (or whatever other terms fit your situation).
Know this though; you will find other really good friends and soul mates in the future...
I wish you the best; and I believe in you and your ability to attend the funeral and find at least some relief from it.
You will feel much better about yourself in the future.
My boyfriend just died and I am not going to the funeral
← View full post
My condolences, and I've been in a similar situation in my life. I understand.
I highly suggest that you go... and don't worry about making a scene. People will easily forgive you about that. You just lost your love in life.
Later in life you will understand that there are only 2 thinks that you take to your deathbed. The memories and evidence of your successes in life - and your regrets in life.
I too once did not attend a funeral of a close friend in high school. It's one of my bigger regrets in life.
Not only that - but his family and other friends noticed my absence - and that affected a lot of other things afterwards as they could not understand why I did not attend; and essentially shunned me (and it cost me my best platonic GF at the time, who I was hoping to start having sex with that summer).
Please go... and at least tell the family that you miss him so... It's totally OK if you cry, act up, etc. It's totally OK to tell his and your family that you don't know if you can hold it together. Everyone either knows that you were his SO, or will be immediately told. No one will hold it against you.
You may also find others will console you and perhaps tell you similar stories about their experiences... which often brings at least some relief (you are not alone in feeling how you feel).
It's also OK to ask your family, friends, and even his family for support to help you attend because you are falling apart (or whatever other terms fit your situation).
Know this though; you will find other really good friends and soul mates in the future...
I wish you the best; and I believe in you and your ability to attend the funeral and find at least some relief from it.
You will feel much better about yourself in the future.