My boyfriend is abusive when drunk... advice?

I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 29 in August. We've been together for 2½ years and were quite happy... but recently he has been a bit distant and a bit mean... he's been checking my phone and wanting to know my work schedule. All because I send a guy an inappropriate picture... my boyfriend actually cheated on me, i should be the one whose paranoid!

And when he gets drunk, he shouts at me and calls me horrible names like sl*t and wh*re, stuff like that. He even attacked me with a LARP sword before when he was drunk... I had bruises.

My friends and his friends have even questioned why I'm still with him when he treats me like that... I don't know what I should do, should I leave him? Or do I deserve this?

Thank you...

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Comments ( 30 )
  • Taka

    Leave him. Nobody deserves to be treated like that.

    There's no point in hanging onto a relationship out of convenience or hope that it'll get better again.

    It won't be easy, but it certainly can't get worse and might only result in meeting somebody else later down the road.

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  • Scherfal

    You should definitely leave him! If every time he gets drunk he acts this way then what will happen when he is constantly getting drunk and not just at the week ends?

    He even attacked you! If I were you I'd report this to your local police and see what they can do and this might even be domestic abuse?

    And don't feel "sorry" for leaving him - he may try to guilt trap you BUT don't fall for it. And if you do chose to leave him, he may come back and say that he is getting "help" or that he's changed just so he can get back with you. My advise is, don't fall for that bullshit.

    I'll leave my comment with a song you may like. It's called "Domestic Abuse" and it's by Rapman. Here's the link: https://youtu.be/tmgCJaboVC4

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  • ArrestThisMan

    Wait, this story sounds familiar. Haven't you been posting this for like, years? Be honest. It's obvious you should leave, why won't you? Maybe ask a therapist. (if this isn't a troll, cuz wtf is a LARP sword)

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    • Boojum

      I don't know what a larp sword is either. Maybe it was a mistype, and she meant to say lard sword, and maybe that's a wordplay on pork-sword.

      I suppose that might put a slightly different light on the situation, and if you think about the implications, it could help explain why she's still with him.

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      • ArrestThisMan

        Well, maybe I'm getting baader-meinhof'd but I've notice an uptick in the sarcastic misuse of the word LARP as of late (There was a prior IIN question asking how many women LARP as men online), which led me to believe it may be a troll / channer (which is where the "LARP" meme apparently originates).

        Plus the mention of that specific age difference of abusive boyfriend sounds a lot like another frequent troller of this website. Will have to see if some regulars recall. Even themanagement had to yell at him/her to stop.

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    • Clunk42

      A LARP sword is essentially just a toy sword.

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      • ArrestThisMan

        I figured as much, but I was more curious as to why OP would go with "LARP" over "fake/toy" or something. Just seemed trollish to me.

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        • Clunk42

          LARP swords tend top be larger and are designed for adults to use in fake combat.

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      • LloydAsher

        I've always wanted to go larping. I live in a rural area so I'd have to drive 3 hours to be a true nerd. I'm not driving 3 hours to be a true nerd like that.

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    • hauntedbysandwiches

      I don't think it's a troll and if you Google LARP sword, it's a real thing apparently common in role play so it's basically a fake sword

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  • hauntedbysandwiches

    Isn't him cheating on you bad enough? Calling you names like that is disgusting whether drunk or not. He sounds heartless, leave him

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    • LloydAsher

      Drunkenness can not be blamed for being a shitty person. Take it from a sailor, people who drink dont really change that much from who they actually are on the inside.

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  • RoseIsabella

    LEAVE HIM!!!

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  • clitoriajustice

    no one deserves to be abused or cheated on. you should break up with him. sending sexy pics to other people is wrong and you shouldnt do it but it does not mean you deserve abuse.

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  • randypete

    LEAVE HIM!!! ASAP

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  • Meowypowers

    Boyfriend? Thats just some dude. Both yall obviously single. Get out eachothers business and go get on.

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  • RandomFurPerson

    That sounds quite unhealthy, I'd suggest you don't stay with him for much longer.
    Unless you talk things out, if it goes well, you'll see, if it goes bad, then you have to cross the line and he's had his chances.

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  • thepuppet

    Sounds terrible, please have a network of friends to go to and leave him.

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  • missywishy

    Leave him. Sooner or later he will probably beat the living days out of you, people like that are a ticking time bomb.

    It’s best to be alone than in bad company.

    Speaking from experience.

    —-
    Why are you sending random men indecent pictures when you are dating someone?
    I’d read a CBT book to help you with those tendencies before they morph into something else. I.E cheating.

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    • It was in moment of weakness, I had a bit of a break down and I found a stranger to talk to... it was a stupid mistake and I apologised so much to my boyfriend about it. But it's not enough... nothing I do is enough...

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  • Tommythecaty

    “All because I send a guy an inappropriate picture... my boyfriend actually cheated on me, i should be the one whose paranoid!”

    You BOTH sound like sacks of crap. Stay, you’re perfect for each other.

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  • raisinbran

    Who gets bruises from foam toys?

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    • Tommythecaty

      You will if hit hard enough, I fucked somebody up with a foam covered t-ball bat many years ago.

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    • It isn't foam, it's metal. It's a proper larp sword.

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      • raisinbran

        Who gets bruises from metal swords?

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        • I did obviously...

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    • Clunk42

      I've seen plastic toy swords before.

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  • Bonercanon

    Not sure what there is to figure out here

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  • PleaseTalkToMe

    Why do u bitches even date men? You know they're dick thinkers and dont know what love is! Tbh I dont feel sorry for you at all

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  • litelander8

    He cheated. So you tried to get back at him? Y’all are toast.

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