My boyfriend has extreamly bad anxiety and i cant understand it...

My boy friend has social anxiety,depression, and all sorts of emotional issues. He says he isn't human and that he doesnt have a need to talk to people or associate himself with the world. He would rather sit home all day and hide from his problems. It has been a long time since Ive seen him genuinly happy. He wont go to therapy he says its a waste of time and money. Im really afraid that his problems will slowly tear apart our relationship. He'll wake me up in the middle of the night crying and fighting with me. HE constantly thinks im gonna leave him. Its just really frustrating, and alot of the things he says is hypocritical or doesnt make sense to me. What do i do?

Is It Normal?
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  • You don't say how old you are or how long you have been with your boyfriend, but I am going to try to answer in a general way. It is very, very difficult....almost impossible to be with a person with mental health issues who will not get help. Without help of some kind (therapy and/or meds) his problems will weigh you down and make it next to impossible for you to go on with your own life.

    To me...your choices are but two:
    1. Make him get help. If he won't listen to you, find someone in his family who he will listen to. Then, once he is in the process of getting help, stand by him and support him.

    2. If you and his family has tried everything to get him help and he still refuses, you need to leave him.
    It sounds cruel....but you have to think of yourself and your sanity, too. The things you have said that he does are truly things that someone with mental health issues have to deal with. But the good news is that they can be helped. Good luck.

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    • he said he would stop hitting himself, and he wont fight with me while im half asleep, he has nothing against talking to a therapist but his insurance doest cover most therpay. He wont take any unntaural meds so i wanna put him on st. johns wort. we are 18 and have been together 5 months, i know we're young but i really care about him and he had been my good friend for a while b4 we started dating. He is going through a lot recently and hopefully once he gets his own place hell be happier cause he hates living with either of his parents. I just wanna see him happy again

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  • Wow, I know exactly how he feels. Good luck to both of you!

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  • life is really hard sometimes.. i just wait it out and remind myself it will pass. i think it takes a lot of mental determination and just BELIEVING that it will be ok. idk how other people have gotten through it.. i'm still working on it, but i'm not where i was once before. good luck

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  • Sad and sick. Andbyour on a tough place. How can you live with him, yet without him? Maybe you give him that sliver of hope that SOMEONE believes in him. But, you've gotbtobdet parameters to davebuour own sanity. Give him the conditions under whichbyou will/will not stay.

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