My boyfriend 'had sex' with his cousin at a young age

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. For what ever reasons, I can't find it in me to fully trust him, because of this we have quite a few arguments and fights. One night (recently) he left my house after a big fight but when he got home he called me and apologized. We spoke on the phone for hours as I told him I want no secrets between us and that he can and should tell me everything. So he decided to tell me about an experience from his past. He said, and I quote, "When I was young, around seven or so, I had sex with my cousin."
He said they were 'playing doctor' and one thing led to the next. He said they had no idea what they were doing but it happened. He apparently never told a soul about it until he told me and he hardly speaks to his cousin, she lives in another state.
First, I wasn't sure if I should believe him, then I felt sorry for him and asked him to talk to a specialist about it and lastly I told him we don't ever have to talk about this again.
It weighs on my mind though. I don't know if it bothers me more that it happened or that I'm not too concerned about it.
I am concerned though, I'm a little scared and worried. I just don't know what to think of this.
I know this isn't 'Normal' but what is it and what should I do?

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Comments ( 16 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • You tell him you want no secrets and then you freak out when he tells you about his past? That sounds like a real lousy relationship. I think he should get out of it.

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    • I agree with this, it is something in his past- he was a kid for crying out loud. You should be happy he trusted you enough to tell you, not prove him wrong in doing so by holding it over his head.

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  • kids do all kinds of crap because they dont know any better.

    I dont think he needs to speak to a therapist unless the incident hinders any part of his normal life. He probably would have felt so much better finally confessing it to someone. Dont ruin this by making it a big deal

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  • He trusted you by telling you his past secrets and now you must trust him and thank him for sharing with you. If you try and make a big deal of this then you will lose him forever

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  • Unless you and your boyfriend are like 8.. now. Who the hell cares? Mountain out of a molehill. Everybody has skeletons. This one isn't even bad comparative to many others. Are you suggesting you've never done anything you regret?

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  • At least he didn't sleep with your cousin..at least he kept it in the family.

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  • Actually it's pretty normal and You shouldn't worry. He was around seven, so you shouldn't let it get to you. Everyone is curious about things at a young age. And seven year olds don't really know any better cause they're usually just kind of curios about pretty much everything

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  • It's a kid thing and doesn't mean anything. Kids do strange stuff like that. I'm sure at the age he is now he knows better. When he was 7 and in 2nd grade he probably didn't have a grasp of right and wrong. But he did trust you enough to tell you something that has probably been built up inside him for years. Having the respect for you to trust you and care about you so much to confide in you should tell you that he really cares for you. Just let it go. A seven year old's mistake (or game) doesn't make him a sexual deviant by any means.

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  • I see kids having sex weekly when they're twelve years old...

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  • Unless he is still banging his cousin, you should just let it rest. He was seven. Seven years old kids don't understand sex and right from wrong very well and this kind of thing probably happens a lot more then people are comfortable admitting.

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  • and this is exactly why you shouldn't open up to your partner. please, please lets not have secret, tell me all your deep dark secrets (and i will use it against you, but lets not say that part too loudly). serves him right. i think you should make a huge deal out of it and see how big a mountain you can make. 7 years old. this place is full or double standards. the same people who throw a hissy fit because anyone under 18 years old doesn't have the sense to know any better are slamming what this guy did when he was 7. i don't get it.

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  • in the US almost half of the states don't prohibit cousin-sex.
    and in the rest of the world many countries allow it as well

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  • Just forget it. He was seven. Young children do things without knowing any better. Just let it go.

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  • Ignore it, it has nothing to do with the present leave the past in the past

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  • And so what?

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  • Buy him a banjo for his birthday!

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