I have to admit, your question made me stop and think. Although I'm open and honest here, it made me quail a little bit and if that happens even on IIN, it should make me think about real life.
My best friends know. But then my best friends have all suffered from panic attacks and depression too. Maybe I've chosen them because of that reason. I don't think I did. I have other friends who don't suffer. Now I'm thinking about it, I don't talk to any non-sufferers about it. Not even my oldest friend. He doesn't even know and I've known him since I was four.
I didn't even realise I was doing this until I started thinking about it now. I've shut out a lot of my non-suffering friends. I've lost quite a few. Not because I shared, but perhaps because I didn't. I don't know. Sometimes it seems that you are damned if you do and damned if you don't.
I've just realised that I've always sought out girlfriends who have problems too. In fact, most of my life I've surrounded myself with people who have these problems. There are a people I'm close to who are perfectly mentally healthy. But I act mentally healthy around them. I don't tell them about the things that make me cry for no good reason. I don't trust them enough to understand.
I'm pretty similar myself. Have had depression and tend to speak friends I know have experienced it and not tell the people who haven't and haven't had any experience of it. But in the end I guess if someone runs in the other direction without giving you a chance then really, are they the sort of people who you want to be around?
Yeah, I'd hate to say to someone who hadn't been depressed that they wouldn't understand it. But it only takes a couple of people who think they can "cure" depression by saying, "Well, why don't you just cheer up a bit?" as if we hadn't thought of that, to make me withdraw away from them.
I've had that! "Cheer up", " you'll be ok tomorrow", "stop feeling sorry for yourself". Like I want to feel sorry for myself! I'd rather be happy any day! If only it was that simple! The worst one was by my ex, "people who have depression need a good kick up the arse." joke was on him tho as when we split up and i wouldnt take him back he had a breakdown after years of mocking people with mental illness, some being family members. Luckily I don't have it too severely, and I'm off anti depressants at the mo and am doing ok without them. I'm always worried it will come back tho.
Mental illness makes me unsuitable to have as a friend?
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Do you ever hide your illness from others to protect yourself?
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dappled
10 years ago
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I have to admit, your question made me stop and think. Although I'm open and honest here, it made me quail a little bit and if that happens even on IIN, it should make me think about real life.
My best friends know. But then my best friends have all suffered from panic attacks and depression too. Maybe I've chosen them because of that reason. I don't think I did. I have other friends who don't suffer. Now I'm thinking about it, I don't talk to any non-sufferers about it. Not even my oldest friend. He doesn't even know and I've known him since I was four.
I didn't even realise I was doing this until I started thinking about it now. I've shut out a lot of my non-suffering friends. I've lost quite a few. Not because I shared, but perhaps because I didn't. I don't know. Sometimes it seems that you are damned if you do and damned if you don't.
I've just realised that I've always sought out girlfriends who have problems too. In fact, most of my life I've surrounded myself with people who have these problems. There are a people I'm close to who are perfectly mentally healthy. But I act mentally healthy around them. I don't tell them about the things that make me cry for no good reason. I don't trust them enough to understand.
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moomus
10 years ago
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I'm pretty similar myself. Have had depression and tend to speak friends I know have experienced it and not tell the people who haven't and haven't had any experience of it. But in the end I guess if someone runs in the other direction without giving you a chance then really, are they the sort of people who you want to be around?
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dappled
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Yeah, I'd hate to say to someone who hadn't been depressed that they wouldn't understand it. But it only takes a couple of people who think they can "cure" depression by saying, "Well, why don't you just cheer up a bit?" as if we hadn't thought of that, to make me withdraw away from them.
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moomus
10 years ago
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I've had that! "Cheer up", " you'll be ok tomorrow", "stop feeling sorry for yourself". Like I want to feel sorry for myself! I'd rather be happy any day! If only it was that simple! The worst one was by my ex, "people who have depression need a good kick up the arse." joke was on him tho as when we split up and i wouldnt take him back he had a breakdown after years of mocking people with mental illness, some being family members. Luckily I don't have it too severely, and I'm off anti depressants at the mo and am doing ok without them. I'm always worried it will come back tho.