Mental illness makes me unsuitable to have as a friend?

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  • I understand. I don't talk about my illness(es) to anybody except one of my best friends. I've never been in a situation where I've told someone and they ditch me because I only tell a select few, two to be exact. I started taking medication a few weeks ago and was nervous about picking it up, thinking the employees would be judging me for what I'm taking. It took me a couple weeks to tell my roommate/ex boyfriend what my doctor is treating me for. He's understanding. I still feel odd when I take my pills though. I feel like I'm being judged so I sneak them.

    I told my dad but he tried to rationalize all of my symptoms. He doesn't get it.

    I was at work a couple days ago and I was feeling really anxious/angry/stressed out/depressed and a girl I work with told me the new girl told her she thinks I'm rude, basically a bitch. That didn't help of course. I was ready to give up and leave and never come back. Not only do I have to deal with my emotions (which usually have no reason to be there in the first place) but I have to keep up a cheery fucking charade for everyone. My boss told me numerous times that day to smile. Well damn I can't when I could burst into tears at any moment and run out pissed off stressed out and suicidal. Damn it.

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    • Thank you for sharing that. You are very brave to be so honest here.

      That is exactly how I feel too, except I have been dealing with this for longer and have tried to open up to more people over the years, which has been a huge mistake.

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      • For me, the problem is not opening up to people. Which is why I try my best to be completely open and honest on here. It's a start. :)

        I wouldn't judge you by the way. You can talk to me any time, message me if'd like. :)

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