Man not liking pornography??

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51 Comments

Ok, I realize everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but this was a little strange to me. Last night, my girlfriends and I were discussing the type of porn we like. All the girls were chiming in, and there were two males in the room and at first, neither of them spoke up. Then finally, my friend's boyfriend spoke up just to say "I don't like porn. It's disgusting and degrading to women. I can't believe y'all are talking about nasty porn..." Call me crazy, but never in my life have I EVER heard these words come out of a grown man's, gay or straight, mouth. Please tell me if this is normal.

Is It Normal?
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  • TwoThumbs
    9 years ago | pl

    Just because you don't watch porn doesn't mean you'll treat your woman "right". And so does the opposite hold true. Just because you watch porn doesn't mean you'll treat your partner like shit.

    There are 2 possibilities here. 1. The guys were telling the truth. And they are not "into porn". They most likely still jerk off...as I've never...NEVER met anyone who doesn't. or 2. They were ashamed to admit they jerk their junk to porn...When I was young I wouldn't admit to watching porn. As I got older I lost my shame.

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  • halfemptyhalffull
    9 years ago | pl

    probably not the norm, but def someone who will treat his woman right

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    • dom180
      9 years ago | pl

      I'm not sure I completely agree. Not wanting to degrade women is one thing, but actually treating anyone well is another. To actually treat someone well you really have to know what is degrading and what isn't, and to a lot of women most porn just isn't degrading. If you have a completely over-exaggerated idea of what a woman finds degrading you just end up putting her on a pedestal because of your own personal beliefs, it would be patronising. If I was a woman I feel like I'd hate that.

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      • halfemptyhalffull
        9 years ago | pl

        Since you're not a woman, what are you basing your statement that women don't think their roles in porn are degrading on?
        And what woman doesn't want to be put on a pedestal?
        I'm guessing you're single

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        • Delacrose
          9 years ago | pl

          And I'm guessing you're a blind bitch. More than 3/4 the population of Men probably watch porn, and most of them are probably boyfriends/fiancées/husbands... Many of them happy in their relationships too. Just because a man watches porn, doesn't make him someone who enjoys degradation of women.

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          • halfemptyhalffull
            9 years ago | pl

            If they are watching porn, then something is missing from their relationship....otherwise they'd be "living out" their porn.
            And I never said liking porn means you like degrading women.
            I do enjoy a good argument/discussion but stop pulling things out of your a##

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        • dom180
          9 years ago | pl

          The millions of women who watch porn every day don't seem to mind it. Not all porn is about treating a woman badly and you are ignorant if you think it is. I don't mean that in an insulting way, but anyone who watches porn will be able to tell you not all of it is degrading. Most men don't get off on degrading women.

          Lots of women don't want to be put on pedestals because they find it uncomfortable to be not treated like a real person. Putting someone on a pedestal all the time is patronising, and no-one likes that whether they're a man or a woman. I'm not saying it's a bad thing to make someone feel special, but assuming someone to be so fragile and delicate that they're degraded by something they actually enjoy (like watching porn) *is* patronising.

          Being put on a pedestal might not patronise you, and you might find porn degrading personally, and that is fine. But not every woman feels the same way about these things as you do.

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          • halfemptyhalffull
            9 years ago | pl

            I never intended to degrade or to make anyone feel degraded by watching porn. If you enjoy it, thats fine. Many people do. I don't judge.
            I was simply trying to point out that in many cases the typical role of the female in porn scripts is to serve as the pleasure giver to the man, and thus, some may find that a "degrading" role. (like the gentleman we are discussing in the original post)
            It's been a while since I watched porn, so maybe the story lines have changed. Or maybe I just never found the movies where the women were in charge and the men were get ordered around to do what pleased them.....buying them diamonds i suspect....
            And you're right. Women (and men) all feel different about everything.

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          • Delacrose
            9 years ago | pl

            100% agreed. Everything you've said here, I agree with. Nicely said all around.

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    • mixwell
      9 years ago | pl

      What does a male watching porn have anything to do with treating a woman right? The two have nothing in common and since most guys watch porn I dont think I could trust one who didn't. He could have also been being trying to look like he's not a perv by denying he watches porn.

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      • Royalburden
        9 years ago | pl

        Its more the fact that he's of the thought that it's degrading to women. It's not unreasonable to think that he's not likely to degrade a woman and therefor will 'treat a woman right'.

        Also none of us know if he meant what he said and I doubt we ever will so what's the harm in taking it as if it was the truth?

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        • [Old Memory]
          9 years ago | pl

          It's male biology to be physically attracted to people sexually. Pinning out one quality of someone and being attracted to them sexually, which is their biology, is not "degrading them" just like going to a comedian is not degrading them as just a form of comedy for your entertainment.

          I would, as a male that barely watches porn, find it far more "degrading" for someone to say "my" biology is degrading to another.

          Quite sick of this "you find someone sexually attractive? That must mean you only view women to be of value in that aspect". Last I checked, it was a picture of attractive men women have on their walls, not descriptive words of great personalities.

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          • halfemptyhalffull
            9 years ago | pl

            Porn is not about love, but sex.
            The basis of most porn is the woman being used for the mans pleasure...usually more then one man at a time....
            If this guy really does not like porn, its probably because he is more interested in a fused sex/love relationship and his attraction is not only for a "look" but personality as well.

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            • Delacrose
              9 years ago | pl

              "Usually more then one man at a time...." First, it's Than* not Then. Second, that couldn't be further than the truth.. Normal hardcore porn is simply about sex. Not about love, nor should it even need to be. People don't go on the Internet looking to watch a video of "passionate lovers". Hardcore porn is almost always just between 1 man and 1 woman, having sex, nothing more, nothing less. You need to realize that porn is not an industry that's owned by purely men. It's not that a male director of a video just tells the other male actor(s) to just take the woman/women and do whatever they want with them and it will be filmed. It's not like that. There HAS to be mutual agreement of what will be done in the videos, otherwise it would be considered rape. So, however way it's degrading to women, don't blame just the men, because the female actresses agree to what will happen in the scenes.

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            • [Old Memory]
              9 years ago | pl

              And who said that it has to be about love? Our biology to have sex/ sexual needs, came before the idea of love.

              The basis of porn is not as vague as that. Just because men are the primary demographic, therefor the women in the porn are lusted for more, does not mean that she is being "used" for the man's pleasure or that she is the only one, for example, when women make noise in it, it is showing the "female" having pleasure.

              "Usually more than one man at a time"...Most of it isn't.

              If he doesn't like porn, it may be for those reasons, it isn't limited to those reasons, though, and trying to imply that if you like porn that you cannot be interested in love relationships is ridiculous.

              I do get so sick of this war on porn, or infact anything that men like viewing sexually. It's getting tiresome.

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          • Royalburden
            9 years ago | pl

            I'm just going by what's been said, mate. According to what's said it's of that man's personal belief that regarding any woman as a mere sex object and panting over them like dogs is degrading, and frankly I can understand where he's coming from. However, you can say whatever you like, it's a free internet. I don't care if you enjoy porn. Not my business.

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      • halfemptyhalffull
        9 years ago | pl

        He says he thinks its degrading to woman

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      • loveyoulongtime
        9 years ago | pl

        Yeah, we all made jokes, saying that when no one is around, he probably whacks it to rape porn, sitting in a corner crying. lol

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      • halfemptyhalffull
        9 years ago | pl

        "most guys watch porn I dont think I could trust one who didn't"
        "trying to look like he's not a perv by denying he watches porn."

        So are you saying you only trust pervs?

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        • Delacrose
          9 years ago | pl

          No, she's saying that she only trusts normal men. Watching pornography doesn't make you a pervert. Women watch porn as well. Get off your feminist high horse and realize that men and women both think about sex and watch porn. I guess everyone on earth is a pervert besides you... (Obvious intentional exaggeration)

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          • halfemptyhalffull
            9 years ago | pl

            I quoted what she said. They are her words.If you know her personally and are making a correction for her, fine....otherwise, how would you know?
            Suggesting watching porn makes a man normal is as silly as assuming i'm a feminist on a high horse.
            I personally watch porn....but we aren't talking about me....we are talking about the gentleman in the original post (well I am....everyone else just wants to talk about themselves it seems)
            (no exaggeration)

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  • georgewoods
    9 years ago | pl

    I think its degrading to women to! especailly when the man puts his willy up her bumhole and then forces her to suck on his brown winkle...

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    • Buttslut
      9 years ago | pl

      Don't you like buttsluts?

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    • Mr-Myrtos
      9 years ago | pl

      Obviously you have never did it with a women in a proper way. Nothing comes out with if you use a good lube. Therefore there will be nothing on the dick. Nothing at all. Depending on the lube you can even choose the taste. Ask her about her favorite flavors.
      No need to be afraid of any "chocolate sticks" as we say were I come from:)
      I guess you have learned something today:)
      Have a nice time.

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    • loveyoulongtime
      9 years ago | pl

      Yeah, but he's not really forcing her. Women participate in porn as much as men. Willingly.

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  • Cheese123
    9 years ago | pl

    Hi OP,

    It is possible to stay away from porn on ideological basis. I haven't used in a week or two because my friend sometimes treats women like porno tabs. I.e. get rid of them when your done and pretend they don't exist

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago | pl

    I don't watch porn all that much, however I would of just looked at him and rolled my eyes, patted him on the shoulder and said "Good job, man" -Sarcastically-

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    9 years ago | pl

    some men don't like porn.

    it doesn't matter.

    i disagree with their reasoning of course - as long as the women are adult and consenting it's no one else's business to dictate what is/isn't degrading - but i'm not going to force someone to like porn against their will either

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  • Delacrose
    9 years ago | pl

    The guy sounds like a pussy... To put it bluntly. Degrading to women? Firstly, no, it's not degrading to WATCH pornography. Maybe if you watched it so often, it actually changed your mindset, and you started treating women like merely objects of desire and lust, but this is very unlikely from simply viewing porn. And secondly, just tell him to grow some balls, and act like an actual man.

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  • ragnarkar
    9 years ago | pl

    Not every guy is into porn but chances are, they're lying. I'm personally more turned on by pictures or videos of women in lingerie or cosplay outfits than depictions of them having sex.

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    • Delacrose
      9 years ago | pl

      Agreed to a certain extent. I enjoy softcore porn more as well. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to see a video of a girl getting banged out for 30 mins straight. At least with softcore porn, you can appreciate the beauty of the nude female body, and her body alone. No guy there trying to stick it in every hole he can...

      However, there are just some times where I just gotta see a nice video once in awhile.

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  • iEatZombies_
    9 years ago | pl

    If the guy isn't into porn then he isn't into porn. It's fine that he feels strongly about it as well. What's bothersome is that he judging you for liking it. Although, I'm sure he was also becoming uncomfortable listening to a room full of girls talk about sex.

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  • loveyoulongtime
    9 years ago | pl

    Thanks everyone for the opinions!!

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  • Cheese123
    9 years ago | pl

    That came out wrong.

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  • abas
    9 years ago | pl

    It is not only normal, but also privilege. Others learning how not to watch porn to not to sin, you don't. It's great. Congratulations.

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    • halfemptyhalffull
      9 years ago | pl

      Sex isn't sin.
      The "every sperm is sacred" thought is based on religion wanting more bodies to donate more money.....same as the "don't be gay" scam

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  • Crusades
    9 years ago | pl

    They probably don't have sex either. I'm honestly not surprised. Men have become a bunch of fruit cakes. I mean, look around!

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