Making excuses to get out of grandma’s funeral

Funerals are a very personal thing. I think you know deep down whether or not you ought to be there. If you weren't bothered about going then you probably wouldn't have gained anything from it. I go to them if I feel it would bring me some closure and to say goodbye. Everyone is different.

Just keep in mind that sometimes you go to a funeral even if you aren't bothered because you are supporting someone else who is very affected by the death of this person. But that's a personal choice - you aren't obliged to do this for anyone.

Families can be a pain in the backside, particularly when they're people who are fixated on conforming to the social conventions. Funerals often bring out the absolute worst in people, with everyone being hyper-hypocritical about the dearly departed, when in fact they detested the old bastard, and did their best to avoid having anything to do with them when they were alive.

Your parents comparing you unfavourably to other relatives who did what they deem the Right Thing is a dick move on their part. I assume that your parents also live on the other side of the country from where you now live. If that's so, then I think you moving away was a good thing. We don't get to pick our families, but we do have the right to decide if they're the sort of people we want to spend time with once we grow up.

Don't worry about it, your grandma doesn't care. she doesn't care about anything, she is dead.

Don't let the guilt trip get to you. Be true to yourself and if you don't want to go or are not comfortable going, then don't. Most people do things because of pressure from others or social stigma. People who are going to get mad and embarrassed based on your right to make your own decision about things are actually the problem here. The only thing is that you are going to have to deal with the consequences of how they treat you and talk about you as a result. It takes a special kind of person to find their own way, be mentally healthy, and make the best decisions for themselves. Sometimes it can be a lonely path and not everyone can handle it. You have to decide between feeling crappy because you are doing what other people want you to do instead of what you want, or being the outcast because you are not bending to other people's will. You ultimately have to decide which works better for your situation and own it. You may find that you get respect from some people for being true to yourself.

When my maternal grandmother died when I was about twelve and I was told none of the cousins would be going. Years later I found this was a lie all other 8 of the 9 in my generation were there. It turns out that my parents were embarrassed as I only had school clothes.

Hey mom/dad, I know your mother just died but I don't care, im not gonna waste my time going to your mother's funeral with you, go fuck yourself. Poor me

Don't listen to your family, your an adult. Make up some stupid excuse or just tell the the truth, but either way, don't go if you don't want to. Exercise a strong will.