They are consenting adults. Why care so much? It's not hurting anyone. Maybe those women would have far worse lives in their own country. Why are you being so judgmental?
While you're right they are consenting adults, you're ignoring the coercive pressure on the girls. Yeah, the men are like 'yay, score' but the girls are like 'eeew but ok'. There's a big power imbalance and even though it's not child to teacher/parent/ it's still fucking disgusting. They consent under extreme pressure ('far worse lives in their own country', your words), what are the men consenting to? Ownership of a beautiful young otherwise unobtainable woman? Oh big loss on his part. I agree with you that adults can do what they want but be real. It's more gross on one side, using a person's bad home life and good looks just to get off and gain a submissive partner? Eew.
Who is coercing the women to do it? They are from other countries, they live in other countries. Nobody is forcing them to create online profiles. Nobody is forcing them to marry these guys. Even if they request, they can say 'no'.
You can judge all you want, human beings are judgmental by nature. But they aren't doing anything wrong.
I'm not judging. I said they can do what they want but I also said it's pretty gross in one direction and I don't think you can refute that. I personally know a mail order bride, I understand what she did and why but the guy involved was absolutely disgusting and a loser basically but used his US citizenship as power as most do. I'm not fucking judging the politics involved, just addressing the power imbalance and desperation on one side and saying well, yeah, it is two consenting adults TECHNICALLY, there is an obvious power play here. Why can't the fat, middle aged, bald, mediocre income guy get a local girl? Uh because he has to buy one.
It's funny how you keep repeating you're not judging but most of the things you said are judgments. There is power play in most if not all relationships. There are lot of women involved with disgusting men and vice versa. Can't save them all.
I'm not judging the decision itself, I completely understand why they do it. I am merely commenting on the FACT that there is a power imbalance and a good lot of these women are also acting under the direction of essentially a pimp who profits from the deal. You're basically saying 'hey it's just two adults doing what they want' without looking beyond and examining why these people are doing this. As if their decisions are not prodded by anything whatsoever. Just because you are an adult doesn't mean you can't be limited in your choices. Starvation for family or marry a nasty poor American? No intimacy ever or buy a bride from overseas because you have that bit of leverage? If these guys are so great, why do they have to buy a woman? They for some reason NEED to or have to because they are either losers, control freaks or both or fethishisers. You seem to think all mail order husbands are rich. Nope. The one I know didn't even have running water in his house.
Again, you see, you keep saying nasty things about those guys, which is judging them, and then keep saying you are not judging. Like I said, there is power dynamics in all relationships.
So you say those women are starving? And if they find a groom they won't starve. And you're saying that's a bad thing? That those women should die? You're not even making any sense.
Look, this is going nowhere. And I have better things to do. So either you start making some sense or you do not deserve a reply.
I don't judge others on the basis of how creeped out I am by something they do. The longer I live, the longer I am convinced that nobody in this world is normal. Even the sanest or most normal person has some thoughts, fantasies or behavior that others will find creepy.
But I guess judging others makes us feel good about our own lives and that's why we do it.
Everyone judges. All the time. That's all we do in our daily lives is make judgments and other character assessments of what we see going on and who we interact with. You're doing it right now when you read my screen name. Everyone judges, even you. It's completely impossible to go through life never judging at all.
That being said I see no problem with mail order brides or even bringing women over from other countries, having some fun with them, and than saying bye bye when their visit visa expires, and than importing a new group of women for the same reason. The average American woman isn't worth much anymore as they seem to think traditional gender role chores are "sexist" and besides sex that's basically all men need them for anyway.
OK, so because, according to you, every relationship does to some degree then the abusive ones are thereby normal and unquestionable since mild/benign ones also exist?
'Even the sanest or most normal person has some thoughts, fantasies or behavior that others will find creepy.'
OK, so that makes people who fantasize about something the same as those who act on it? There's NO difference? You don't judge or treat those 2 types of people differently? Every behavior is equally acceptable? Bullshit.
Mail Order Brides
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They are consenting adults. Why care so much? It's not hurting anyone. Maybe those women would have far worse lives in their own country. Why are you being so judgmental?
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wigz
7 years ago
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WhiteApple
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While you're right they are consenting adults, you're ignoring the coercive pressure on the girls. Yeah, the men are like 'yay, score' but the girls are like 'eeew but ok'. There's a big power imbalance and even though it's not child to teacher/parent/ it's still fucking disgusting. They consent under extreme pressure ('far worse lives in their own country', your words), what are the men consenting to? Ownership of a beautiful young otherwise unobtainable woman? Oh big loss on his part. I agree with you that adults can do what they want but be real. It's more gross on one side, using a person's bad home life and good looks just to get off and gain a submissive partner? Eew.
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Max2016
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Who is coercing the women to do it? They are from other countries, they live in other countries. Nobody is forcing them to create online profiles. Nobody is forcing them to marry these guys. Even if they request, they can say 'no'.
You can judge all you want, human beings are judgmental by nature. But they aren't doing anything wrong.
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wigz
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I'm not judging. I said they can do what they want but I also said it's pretty gross in one direction and I don't think you can refute that. I personally know a mail order bride, I understand what she did and why but the guy involved was absolutely disgusting and a loser basically but used his US citizenship as power as most do. I'm not fucking judging the politics involved, just addressing the power imbalance and desperation on one side and saying well, yeah, it is two consenting adults TECHNICALLY, there is an obvious power play here. Why can't the fat, middle aged, bald, mediocre income guy get a local girl? Uh because he has to buy one.
--
Max2016
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It's funny how you keep repeating you're not judging but most of the things you said are judgments. There is power play in most if not all relationships. There are lot of women involved with disgusting men and vice versa. Can't save them all.
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wigz
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I'm not judging the decision itself, I completely understand why they do it. I am merely commenting on the FACT that there is a power imbalance and a good lot of these women are also acting under the direction of essentially a pimp who profits from the deal. You're basically saying 'hey it's just two adults doing what they want' without looking beyond and examining why these people are doing this. As if their decisions are not prodded by anything whatsoever. Just because you are an adult doesn't mean you can't be limited in your choices. Starvation for family or marry a nasty poor American? No intimacy ever or buy a bride from overseas because you have that bit of leverage? If these guys are so great, why do they have to buy a woman? They for some reason NEED to or have to because they are either losers, control freaks or both or fethishisers. You seem to think all mail order husbands are rich. Nope. The one I know didn't even have running water in his house.
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Max2016
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Again, you see, you keep saying nasty things about those guys, which is judging them, and then keep saying you are not judging. Like I said, there is power dynamics in all relationships.
So you say those women are starving? And if they find a groom they won't starve. And you're saying that's a bad thing? That those women should die? You're not even making any sense.
Look, this is going nowhere. And I have better things to do. So either you start making some sense or you do not deserve a reply.
It's plain outright creepy, I guess it does not bother you, but to me it is perverted! I guess my standards are more conservative than yours...
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Max2016
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I don't judge others on the basis of how creeped out I am by something they do. The longer I live, the longer I am convinced that nobody in this world is normal. Even the sanest or most normal person has some thoughts, fantasies or behavior that others will find creepy.
But I guess judging others makes us feel good about our own lives and that's why we do it.
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Everyone judges. All the time. That's all we do in our daily lives is make judgments and other character assessments of what we see going on and who we interact with. You're doing it right now when you read my screen name. Everyone judges, even you. It's completely impossible to go through life never judging at all.
That being said I see no problem with mail order brides or even bringing women over from other countries, having some fun with them, and than saying bye bye when their visit visa expires, and than importing a new group of women for the same reason. The average American woman isn't worth much anymore as they seem to think traditional gender role chores are "sexist" and besides sex that's basically all men need them for anyway.
You're so full of shit.
'every relationship has power dynamics'
OK, so because, according to you, every relationship does to some degree then the abusive ones are thereby normal and unquestionable since mild/benign ones also exist?
'Even the sanest or most normal person has some thoughts, fantasies or behavior that others will find creepy.'
OK, so that makes people who fantasize about something the same as those who act on it? There's NO difference? You don't judge or treat those 2 types of people differently? Every behavior is equally acceptable? Bullshit.