Yeah you're right and no, he wouldn't want me to have sex with other guys. I just think he doesn't care that I feel this way because the more I talk about it with him the more closed off he gets about the subject. Like he won't even want head half the time. Idk it's weird but I agree with what your saying it's definitely something I have to think about.
It's good that you're making an effort to deal with the issue; it's not good at all that he's shutting you down.
JohnathanOo makes some interesting points in his post that might be relevant, but it seems to me that you aren't required to be your boyfriend's personal sex-therapist. Like most people, I've experienced sexual issues of various sorts in relationships. In order to deal with these, both people have to be willing and able to openly communicate their needs, preferences, dislikes, and anxieties.
If your boyfriend is stonewalling, there's no chance you'll be able to get to the bottom of whatever is at the root of this problem and find a way forward you can both accept. Frankly, you feeling that he just doesn't care is a huge red flag. It's irrelevant if he actually doesn't care, or if he's just too uncomfortable to talk about the problem. What matters is that you feel he doesn't care, and perceived indifference is highly corrosive in relationships.
Some people are asexual to one degree or another. That can work fine if their partner is also indifferent about sex, but it can cause serious problems when there's a mismatch.
Does he get erections easily? A guy his age should almost always have an erection when he wakes up. If he doesn't, that could suggest there's a physiological problem, such as low testosterone.
Yeah he has no problem getting an erection he just doesn't really want to do anything with it. It's like everything about the relationship is crumbling, not just our sex life. But when either one of us tries to break up with each other we ultimately end up talking it out and making fake promises we both know we won't keep. Thank you for you're different perspective I wasn't seeing things in that kind of way.
Low sex drive bf
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Yeah you're right and no, he wouldn't want me to have sex with other guys. I just think he doesn't care that I feel this way because the more I talk about it with him the more closed off he gets about the subject. Like he won't even want head half the time. Idk it's weird but I agree with what your saying it's definitely something I have to think about.
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Boojum
5 years ago
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It's good that you're making an effort to deal with the issue; it's not good at all that he's shutting you down.
JohnathanOo makes some interesting points in his post that might be relevant, but it seems to me that you aren't required to be your boyfriend's personal sex-therapist. Like most people, I've experienced sexual issues of various sorts in relationships. In order to deal with these, both people have to be willing and able to openly communicate their needs, preferences, dislikes, and anxieties.
If your boyfriend is stonewalling, there's no chance you'll be able to get to the bottom of whatever is at the root of this problem and find a way forward you can both accept. Frankly, you feeling that he just doesn't care is a huge red flag. It's irrelevant if he actually doesn't care, or if he's just too uncomfortable to talk about the problem. What matters is that you feel he doesn't care, and perceived indifference is highly corrosive in relationships.
Some people are asexual to one degree or another. That can work fine if their partner is also indifferent about sex, but it can cause serious problems when there's a mismatch.
Does he get erections easily? A guy his age should almost always have an erection when he wakes up. If he doesn't, that could suggest there's a physiological problem, such as low testosterone.
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Wtfareyouthinking
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Yeah he has no problem getting an erection he just doesn't really want to do anything with it. It's like everything about the relationship is crumbling, not just our sex life. But when either one of us tries to break up with each other we ultimately end up talking it out and making fake promises we both know we won't keep. Thank you for you're different perspective I wasn't seeing things in that kind of way.