Loves to hate

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4 Comments

I hate how my life turned out to be. I barely have any good relationship with anyone as I'm awkward(but trying not to be) around people. I always think, why try when that's all you are an awkward person.

I try everyday to be happy but always end up either angry at myself or the world. I think I do try too hard, I've been called that more than once in my life.

Day by day, I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that there isn't such a thing as happiness. Yes there are temporary states of elation, you can laugh but I'm always ending up back to feeling miserable about myself and those around me. It really feels like anger and hate are taking over my life affecting those around me, always pushing people away from me. I'm slowly hating everyone, or find a reason to hate them. I even hated the school councilor in the University I go to because he had a bad comb over. He talked to me about confidence but I couldn't stand his hypocrisy.

There are those who I don't hate but eventually I will end up hating. There are those who I hate for no reason and I get back home and feel miserable because I'm really not sure why I hate them. I don't want to hate but I'm not sure how.

It sure does sound like an angry teenager typing.
Whatever. Fuck it all.

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Comments ( 4 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Complex4
    12 years ago | pl

    Even if people are negative, we can laugh around....
    I have seen some people are just positive,bubbly n all even if their life is way crappy...

    Sooo maybe, happiness is a state of mind...Its not something u can get by cracking jokes and laughing...It should be in your nature to keep smiling and be positive ....

    i hope that makes sense O.o

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  • bemah
    10 years ago | pl

    You shouldn't tell yourself that's the way you are, because you're probably not. Just relax, and live, don't try hard to be happy because you'll only work yourself up when you can't control it. Don't think about what you don't have, look at what you do have and be grateful for it. It might be hard now, but shit doesn't stay this way forever. The people you hate, well the chances are you don't even hate them, maybe your just frustrated with the way your feeling right now.

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  • whiterabbitspin
    11 years ago | pl

    You must find peace in the present moment by embracing it. The world is against you until you stop fighting it.

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  • Complex4
    12 years ago | pl

    @bluefire

    I m awkward too sometimes...do u stay a lot at home/dont have many relationships where u can just talk freely to somebody(not much interactions leading to social anxiety )

    People are people...just like you ...there r many awkward people out there too..some r good, some r bitches, some confident, some insecure, some weird/goofy...

    just be REAL..
    Some may not like you, may think you are strange,or avoid u(uninterested),u may get hurt n feel frustrated towards people or insecure about urself...

    but nobody is actually liked by everybody,bcos everyone has different opinions and judge each other differntly...but u have to try.
    ..u r not alone who feels this way

    and I guess, just try to approach more people, so that u find people who r compatible with ur attitude and whose attitude u admire...if u do..better than keeping to urself and Yes, mayb u have tried real hard, but still...

    Keep on moving forward, BE TRUE TO URSELF and u will probably come across people who are your type (same sense of humour, who will like u n think ur cool )....Just Introduce urself to the world n If u get frustrated by some people(who behave badly), well, u r better off not being with them, Dont get hard or embittered towards the world bcos of a few bad apples (is that the right phrase lol )...maybe u have not come across the good ones but they exist...

    AND,
    its the best way to make true friends...who understand u...

    Dont let others behaviour make u feel bad about urself...Be confident about urself..

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