love your best friend...

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  • Ok here's what you do:

    1. Kidnap him
    2. Keep him in your basement for at least 3 months. Whenever he complains, keep him in the refrigerator until he quiets down
    3. Once you've completely subdued him, make him listen to a recording of your voice saying "I am god"
    4. After he has listened to the recording for at least a year, he will be brainwashed
    5. Marry him! He will totally want to marry you now that you've brainwashed him!

    You're welcome!

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