Looking for advice/opinions on a delicate matter involving my cousin

Right, well first off thanks for looking at this and I'd appriciate any feedback, purposefully negative feedback will be ignored.

I have known my cousin for 12 years now, we aren't biologically related, but she came from the ukraine to my country when we were children, her mother having married my uncle. We grew up together, and were practically inseperable. I'd say she is more of a sister to me than anything else. We live close to each other so have spent a lot of time together. As we started to get into our late teens, I began to notice that she was a very attractive girl and slowly my sexual desire grew for her. Then when I was fifteen and she seventeen, one time when we were sharing a room together, I touched her while she slept. At first it would have hardly been noticeable,but ovcer the course of two years this began to go further and further, all the while I thought she was asleep.

Let me say now that I have never had intercourse with her, I myself am a virgin, she is not. So most nights we would have sleep overs at each other's houses, and I would slip into her bed at night and embrace her to satisfy my desires whilst she (at least appeared) asleep. I know it wasn't love, but it felt like it.

Although she is known to the whole family as a heavy sleeper, I moved her around at night and I'm pretty sure that she couldn't have been asleep all the time. We have never talked about this, I've never had the courage to ask her whether she knew or not, in fear of destroying our brother/sister relationship.

Now she's got a boyfriend at university who she really loves a lot. I'm happy for her, but since she went to uni, I've been 'unable' to do what I used to do to her. Although she still let's me massage her back/arms/legs/face when we are alone and she is awake (She's asked me to do this sometimes, other times I ask her) when we have sleep overs.

As a note, over the course of the last two years, and more now that I cannot do what I used to, I find myself having sexual dreams about her, and longing for them. When I, shall we say 'please' myself I often find that my thoughts drift to her and no other. I'm 18 now, she's going to be 21 this year, and I don't know what to do with myself.

That's my story, no other living soul has ever heard it before, so please try to be polite in your answers although I know some people will have predjudice conclusions of me already. I'm asking anyone out there what you think of my story and what advice you would give to me. Thanks.

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Comments ( 10 )
  • KLynn2013

    In going to try to give u some options, as many as I can. It must be difficult for yyou growing up with this girl you love ):
    well anyways I've got a couple scenarios:
    U two met as youngins, grew very close through the years, and know uve both matured and have BOTH developed hidden feelings for each other, afraid to come out with it ( there's no way she was asleep that whole time/times. Also, if she wasn't asleep maybe that's more reason why she let u massage her (; ) because you both might think it'll hurt the relationship you two already have
    Or
    She loves you so much but not in that way so she never sed anything about u snuggling her at night bcuz she was afraid to mess up the wonderful history uve had together, so now she's moved on and has a bf diregarding what ever used to happen and was so close to u it didn't bother her to let u massage her or cuddle her at night (she mightve thought u was snuggling for other reasons? )
    So there, those are the two scenarios. It'll end up being one of those, who knows maybe in the second scenario she gas feelings but the whole history thong between the two of you :/
    The only adice I can give u is, u need to tell her pronto how u feel , not much time left before she could fall for another, maybe she's waiting for u to get gutsy and take her away, u never know about hidden feelings. U also need to really confront yer about the snuggling... She has a right to know, I know it'll be hard but if u explain in full detail ur feelings for her it won't matter that u did that, shell prolly think it's sweet(:
    So good luck my friend, I hope u get the girl, I didn't get the guy so I can at least give u my regards and wish for ur happiness(: becz I didn't exceed... Lol
    Good luck!!

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    • A_Nonimoose

      Thankyou for the detailed input, i appreciate it! Only she's already fallen for another guy, but i never really had any belief that we would be together in that way. I think that's going to be for the best though :) I kinda hope that it's more the first scenario, but i guess i'll never know unless I bring it up. Sadly, I don't think I can ever do that :( there was one time though, that I almost told her, but i didn't get very far before she changed the subject whilst i was gathering courage! Anyways, thankyou very much, really. And I hope with all my heart that someone with such kindness as you will find the right person. :)

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  • wohooo

    Hen you ha ve a opportunity touch her

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  • shade_ilmaendu

    If she was really asleep, and you were touching her... Thats kinda messed up, man. :/ sleeping people can't give consent.

    You're not related to her by blood, so I don't see anything wrong with your feelings for her... But a lot of people will. If you tell her how you feel, there will probably be a lot of fallout.

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  • Pisslan616

    messing with someone when they are asleep is not cool man.

    As for your crush on your her I think that is normal however it looks like she is taken so maybe you should conciser moving on.

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  • dom180

    I wouldn't tell her about it, it will only make things harder (no incrediably sick pun intended) for both of you. Instead, I'd stop ever seeing her at all. Time away from her will change your feelings about her. If you can, start seeing other girls, anything to take your mind away from her. Eventually you should get over the thoughts that you have for her, and don't even talk to her until your feelings about her have changed.

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  • ygrowup

    You should either tell how you feel, or move on and break all ties with her! Good luck with your choices!

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  • Although I don't mind the story at all, there was no "Is it nomal?" theme. Maybe this isn't the site for you...

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    • A_Nonimoose

      @ liiaaa3 apologies, i thought that what i posted wasn't very normal to begin with but i'm reallyjust looking for people's advice opinoins

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  • Dozis

    I cannot believe you made it through uni.
    I would like to know what job you have cause,damn,I would not hire you not even to sweep my floor.

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