I totally agree with the comment about doing gardening - it's very therapeautic. You have a serious issue and sadly conventional western psychiatry is so retarded that unless you have an exceptional therapist it's unlikely to help much, because they won't understand how you feel and will just try to treat it like an ordinary phobia as though it's a superficial thing and not something that's welded to your very core, that is an all-consuming compulsion, which is overpowering and can't simply be conquered by your thoughts, because it's like a monster dominating your motivation. I understand all that.
You have a (GAD) General Anxiety Disorder - you need to look that up online, because there are many very good forums and help sites about it with good advice and support.
It's extremely hard to tackle, but only you know how bad it is and what scares you, so you need to try and tackle these bit by bit, slowly, one small step at a time, and then you'll gradually get stronger and better. If you can find someone to support you at your own pace to be there to give you confidence when you decide to take the steps you've decided to do then that will help - but it's not essential.
They key is to try the least scary steps first. Do them for very short periods and end them as soon as you feel stressed - such as being brave and going into your yard for a minute. Then keep repeating this 1-2 times per day until such time that it doesn't stress you; then bit by bit increase the time. People may look at you or speak to you, but try to handle it and go back inside to feel safe afterwards; when you do you can feel good about yourself for handling it and also affirm that nothing bad happened to you.
It will take a long time - at least a year before you'll be able to take a walk through your neighbourhood with little fear, but it will make you better. Of course, there will be times and people that set you back and make you feel bad, but that is how life is, by that stage you'll feel stronger and more able to cope, so you'll pick yourself up and carry on.
Eventually you'll be a changed person for the better. The most important thing is that you've decided that this current state is not what you want and that you want to change, so this will help spur you onwards.
Long held phobia of leaving the house, IIN?
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I totally agree with the comment about doing gardening - it's very therapeautic. You have a serious issue and sadly conventional western psychiatry is so retarded that unless you have an exceptional therapist it's unlikely to help much, because they won't understand how you feel and will just try to treat it like an ordinary phobia as though it's a superficial thing and not something that's welded to your very core, that is an all-consuming compulsion, which is overpowering and can't simply be conquered by your thoughts, because it's like a monster dominating your motivation. I understand all that.
You have a (GAD) General Anxiety Disorder - you need to look that up online, because there are many very good forums and help sites about it with good advice and support.
It's extremely hard to tackle, but only you know how bad it is and what scares you, so you need to try and tackle these bit by bit, slowly, one small step at a time, and then you'll gradually get stronger and better. If you can find someone to support you at your own pace to be there to give you confidence when you decide to take the steps you've decided to do then that will help - but it's not essential.
They key is to try the least scary steps first. Do them for very short periods and end them as soon as you feel stressed - such as being brave and going into your yard for a minute. Then keep repeating this 1-2 times per day until such time that it doesn't stress you; then bit by bit increase the time. People may look at you or speak to you, but try to handle it and go back inside to feel safe afterwards; when you do you can feel good about yourself for handling it and also affirm that nothing bad happened to you.
It will take a long time - at least a year before you'll be able to take a walk through your neighbourhood with little fear, but it will make you better. Of course, there will be times and people that set you back and make you feel bad, but that is how life is, by that stage you'll feel stronger and more able to cope, so you'll pick yourself up and carry on.
Eventually you'll be a changed person for the better. The most important thing is that you've decided that this current state is not what you want and that you want to change, so this will help spur you onwards.
I hope this helps.
Good luck!