Liking a girl(?) need help please

Okay so this is going to be a long story. I have been dating my gf for a year now and she's honestly a great person. I do love her but not that much because I feel like we weren't exactly meant to be. The problem is, she loves me to dearly and wants to marry me and have children with me (I am 21 and she is 19). She has quite the family issues and to her, I am all she has really. She has an abusive mother and all of her childhood was just not there. She never had a family before and she treats me as if I was her family. Her dad was physically abusive and disowned her. She has been raped multiple times before and had abusive relationship before. I am technically the first actual boyfriend shes has ever had. also, we are doing long distance. She is planning to save up money and wanting to go to school and live with me. She told me she will make anything work. But, I met this girl (I'm pretty sure she likes me) during work and she gave me her Id for Kakao (basically wechat) and told me to text her. I added her but didn't text her because I wasn't really interested and wanted to stay loyal to my girlfriend. And so next day she texted me and we started talking and she slapped my butt at one point (because I offered her food during work and we are not allowed to ear food during work) and refused it. And we hung out outside at the mall today, trying to shop for my winter jacket and I saw her really trying her best finding my jacket, we eat dinner together and left. She was planning to move somewhere but she keeps saying omg where I live right now I hate it (referring to the city) but she also says she likes it. And I asked her will you move somewhere else? And she replied with yeah i would like to move there but you are here. Do I really like her? After a year if dating am I just not loving my gf? Or is it normal for me to have this kind of reaction after a year of dating. Please help.

Tldr: my gf really needs me and trying her best to move in with me but I met a girl who I may or may not like.

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Comments ( 23 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Dump your current girlfriend.

    Not everyone is suited to be a caretaker or have the mental strength to support others. She needs a really special guy, and hopefully she finds him.

    As for the new girl, it just sounds like she's saling her pussy for an appartment and being charming and overly sexual to get you hooked on her.

    My suggestion? Go with neither, and grow up a bit, go have fun. Or use new girl as a FWB for a while until you feel something is there (be open about your intentions), but still dump girlfriend, cause you're indecisive.

    Hey, it's whatever you want.

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    • New girl also knows that I have a gf

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    • Yeah you are kind of right about caretaker. I don't think the new girl is a slut. She may be desperate or super lonely and I'm sure she can do better. Also our people are very shallow (not going to specify my nationality). And I know that the girl has some money (or at least I think she does)

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  • okay first of all, thank you for giving me advice, second, the new girl is not a slut and I am not down to fuck kind of guy. I only like having sex with a person who I love and she doesnt really deserve to be called a slut when she didnt really do anything. Third, you can talk as much shit as u can to me because I am an asshole (kinda) and I feel like a piece of shit.

    Another question, My girlfriend wants to try to rebuild after me talking about how I dont really love her as much anymore and how I have lost interest over the time. When we were about to break up, she said she is going to stop living and she can't live in this world. Normally, I wouldn't believe anyone who says that because of break up but when I look at her she really could kill herself as she did try in the pasts. Also, she doesnt have much friends (or a friend who cares enough) to support her emotionally and I am also traumatized about my ex who has died in a car accident but I took the blame on me because I look at it as "she committed suicide" which is probably not true. another long story if I wanna make myself not sound like a douche but basically my ex was very toxic and abusive.

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  • The relationship with the old girlfriend is not healthy. She loves you, and you can't reciprocate her feelings. You have to put much more distance between her and yourself, and then break up in the near future. The new girl is nothing but a fling. If she wants quick sex in a closet at work, be sure to wear a condom.

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  • If you stay in the relationship, and you still don't think it's right for you, It'll just delay it, and make it worse in the future. Maybe don't start dating the other person right away, but be as nice as you can, and explain everything.

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  • See the baggage pile the ceiling. Be in a relationship and all that shit is on your back. I get it first love and all but there are plenty of fish in the sea. Now get out their tiger and find yourself a prize worthy of your constitution!

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  • are u indian

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  • If in doubt, you cannot commit. Besides you are both young. See other people, thers is plenty of time for marriage and children.

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  • This is a really tricky situation. Maybe it's just because you're doing the long distance thing? I don't really think long distance is sustainable.

    I would talk to her about it, and tell her that if she moved up here you would give it a go, but atm it's just unsustainable. Or tell her you're happy to both be able to see other people, but still know that you have something special together, so an open relationship kind of thing.

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  • I'd say don't be with either girl. Sounds like you need to be single for a while. Enjoy it! :)

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  • I was able to understand... some of that.

    Do not waste your time on some long distance relationship. Eventually she will get stuck in an airport in Nicaragua and need you to Western Union her a few hundred bucks so she can get home, OR her niece will be in the hospital with some grave illness and she needs money...

    As far as this "loyalty" bullshit, basically fuck you you want but cover up the rascal as to not get one of them hoes knocked up.

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  • Ok, this is a really tough question. You're sayin you aren't sure if you're attracted to the new girl or not, you should make the decision when you figure it out. Also you didn't cheat on your girlfriend since you just hang out (or at least you didn't mention anything else), so you can still be friends.

    If you figure that you aren't attracted to the new girl then you can still be friends, unless she wants something more, then you should probably stop meeting her.

    If you figure that you are attracted to the new girl, then you should brake up with your gf asap since hiding it is only going to make things worse. Also you can't avoid the fact that people will picture you as a total douchebag for doing so and there's possibility you will feel guilty yourself.

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    • No one will think he is a douchebag for breaking up with his current girlfriend, unless he does so in a dispicable way, like cheating and then doing it, or dating the new girl first, which he is very close to doing.

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      • I somewhat agree with you, but personally I dont give a shit if other people think I am a douche, I just want to resolve this whole entire shit. but thank you

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      • Believe me, not everyone will respect the fact he can date whoever he wants and people will call him a douchebag for braking this girl's heart when she's already going through tough shit.

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        • Well they may, but if he is a gentleman about it, it will be unwarranted.

          But yes, there are always people who will say stuff not based in reality.

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    • And yes you are correct we didn't do anything but shop and eat. I hung out just as a friend

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    • Yeah I'm not sure if I am attracted and I understand that people will think I am a total douchebag and yes I do feel guilty. I'm just really worried about my gf because she would be stuck with her mom for awhile and I wouldn't want that since she doesn't deserve it at all and also I really want her to do well in life. Maybe I do need more time as I only met the new girl for less than a week.

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  • You're already being disloyal to someone who has had a very difficult life. Do her a favor and leave her so that she can find someone nice, who will treat her right.

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