Learning to trust...and failing

82% Normal
6 Comments

I've been with my boyfriend for going on six months now. We've dropped the 'l' word and started to talk about forever with each other. But I'm having trouble trusting him.

We dated for about a week around a year ago (first time I'd met him), and after six or seven really good dates, he dropped off the face of the planet. Completely blew me off. When we got back together in December (he pursued me, apologized, and explained) I found out an ex-girlfriend had come into town asking him for help. He has a bit of a hero complex, so they got back together and he "rescued" her. They broke up a few months later, and about a month after that, he came around me again. He and his best friend sort of tricked me into talking to him again, but I think it turned out for the best.

Anyway, we've been back together for a while now. As far as I know, he's never lied to me (outside of the little subterfuge to see me again)...but I keep wondering when the other shoe is going to drop. When am I going to find out he's been cheating on me? When am I going to discover that he's been lying to me all along? That it's been one big game?

I feel terrible for feeling this way. he tells me every day that he loves me and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Is it normal that I'm so skeptical?

Is It Normal?
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 6 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • XJayX
    13 years ago | pl

    It's normal to feel insecure about a relationship, especially since he did something untrustworthy before. Sorry, I have no idea of how to really improve your situation....I just wanted to say that it's normal.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • Ljdx10
    13 years ago | pl

    Totallly. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year & he cheated on me. I took him back because I love him to death, but there's always something in me that makes me wonder if he's lying.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • Golden
    13 years ago | pl

    Goodness honey, it’s only been six months. I felt the same way in my relationships, even without the drama. I rarely feel sure about a guy until I hit a year and I make no apologies for it. It's normal to question, wonder and feel unsure. If you can talk with him about some of this, try. I did with the guys I had relationships with and they were always good about listening and not being butt heads about it. My worries were always commitment, I don't like to talk about marriage, children or moving in, nothing concrete and I always admitted it. Right now, I'm with a guy now who wants to settle down but has been more then supportive of my feelings for the past 2 years. If your guy is the one, he will be the same with your feelings. Hope this has helped!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • MangledPopTart
    13 years ago | pl

    Ive learned in life to NEVER trust anyone ever! Ive had bad experiences with relationships. I personally avoid them as much as i can.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • Lady.Pam
    13 years ago | pl

    I'm the same and I've been with my bf 3years

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • TeresaBarry
    13 years ago | pl

    I think it's very normal considering what you've been through. Even I have a slight tendincy to not trust my boyfriend. And we've been together for two years. It just happens.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0