Just because people will sit with you during lunch doesn't make them your friends or make you popular. What has happened is theyve stopped being horrible little shitstains (mostly) and so they're willing to be kind to you and you've gained a degree of confidence and composure. A situation that can easily occur when someone has been socially brutalized then granted a reprieve is that she becomes somewhat servile and eager to please, supressing her authentic self while she tries to fit in. While you are "funny" and "nice" people don't neccessarily like you, they just don't dislike you. It takes more that not not fitting in to make friends, you have to forge a personal connection with an individual not the entire social group. So while you should put effort into building a social network focus on finding a few solid friends. Also, since you have lived so long as an outcast you will fin it easiest people who have gone through or are still goon through a similar experience, so don't be afraid to lend some of your kindness to them as they need it as much as you do.
There are a number of self help books that can help you become more sophisticated and social but I would also suggest therapy. It's not just for crazy people. Your social development had been warped by other peoples cruelty and you need a kind ear and external perspective to help you heal, set proper boundaries, and help you develop.
Your college will likely provide a counselor for free. Go. The first year of college will be very stressfull, particulalry if you are worried about your social standing AND coursework. You'll have a chance to rewrite yourself. This doesn't mean faking a past and persona. Rather a new environment give new opportunities and if you meet them bravely you will grow into someone new. Seek out good people. Make solid friiends. Be kind and generous with your time and affection but do not be other peoples doormat or too eager to please, let them come to you or halfway. There are many shy people out there, so be outgoing and initiate but don't expect most of them to care. Look for those that do.
Just One of Those People
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Just because people will sit with you during lunch doesn't make them your friends or make you popular. What has happened is theyve stopped being horrible little shitstains (mostly) and so they're willing to be kind to you and you've gained a degree of confidence and composure. A situation that can easily occur when someone has been socially brutalized then granted a reprieve is that she becomes somewhat servile and eager to please, supressing her authentic self while she tries to fit in. While you are "funny" and "nice" people don't neccessarily like you, they just don't dislike you. It takes more that not not fitting in to make friends, you have to forge a personal connection with an individual not the entire social group. So while you should put effort into building a social network focus on finding a few solid friends. Also, since you have lived so long as an outcast you will fin it easiest people who have gone through or are still goon through a similar experience, so don't be afraid to lend some of your kindness to them as they need it as much as you do.
There are a number of self help books that can help you become more sophisticated and social but I would also suggest therapy. It's not just for crazy people. Your social development had been warped by other peoples cruelty and you need a kind ear and external perspective to help you heal, set proper boundaries, and help you develop.
Your college will likely provide a counselor for free. Go. The first year of college will be very stressfull, particulalry if you are worried about your social standing AND coursework. You'll have a chance to rewrite yourself. This doesn't mean faking a past and persona. Rather a new environment give new opportunities and if you meet them bravely you will grow into someone new. Seek out good people. Make solid friiends. Be kind and generous with your time and affection but do not be other peoples doormat or too eager to please, let them come to you or halfway. There are many shy people out there, so be outgoing and initiate but don't expect most of them to care. Look for those that do.