It's ok with the lights out.

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7 Comments

One of my best friends recently confided to me that he has just started a sexual relationship with another man. To say I was shocked would be putting it mildly. I have known this guy since the second grade. We are both in our late forties. Served in Iraq. He was awarded a purple heart. He told me because, as life-long friends, he knew he could trust that I would never tell anyone. I told him, after I got over the shock, that he would live a happier life if he were to come out of his closet. His real friends would still be there for him. Was this sound, normal advice? He has never married and has no children. Obviously, he has been gay since an early age. But even his close friends never knew. It saddens me to now realize how much my friend has suffered living this hidden life of his. I hope he decides to come out. And I hope I told him the right thing to do. Do you agree?

Voting Results
78% Normal
Based on 60 votes (47 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    Sometimes coming out isn't a good idea. Coming out doesn't always = happiness and freedom in being yourself. Sometimes, it can make a person's life hard, if not harder than it was for them to be in the closet. It depends on the environment in which they live (etc.). If he is going to come out, it needs to be when he feels comfortable/confident enough to do so and it has to be for him. I know that you mean well and want wants best for him but, please, don't pressure him to come out. You'll just increase the stress.

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  • faculti
    9 years ago

    don't be gay

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    • DemonicFortuneCookie
      9 years ago

      I werent plannin on it.

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    So much depends on where he lives, what his occupation is and how he can deal with the prejudice he will surely encounter. I don't think that everyone needs to come out and especially someone who has obviously not been able to do so for over 30 years.
    It isn't necessarily bad advice, but it must be so much more difficult for someone in his late 40's than someone young. Keep us informed, I'd be interested in his decision.

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  • faculti
    9 years ago

    why am I even into this stuff is it me or am I just a stupid idiot

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  • Parky_Parker
    9 years ago

    You sound like a good friend. If he is already in his 40's, I'm sure it will be especially tough to come out of the closet after all these years. If he decides to do it, great for him. If not, you should still respect his decision.

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  • loopoo
    9 years ago

    Hell yes it is, it's who he is, it's terrible when people hide who they truly are.

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