It is normal to love so deep a person you have hurt by accident....

I met him in church when I was a little girl. He was my first boyfriend and I was his first girlfriend. We had our first kiss and I honestly got scared if my dad found out and broke up with him without explanation. I grew up got married with someone else. I got divorced and after 17years I found him on face book. We started talking again. He lived in a state and I in other. It was hard because he was very jealous. He broke up with me a few times for things he thought due to his jealousy. I accepted him back because I loved him. On one occasion when he broke up with me I started talking with a really close friend of mine which I had known for 5 years and we ended up together. My ex wanted to be with me again and because I had not forgotten him I went back to him. He gave me a promise ring but before that he had told me he had two relationships while we were apart. We talked about his and my relationship after all was said I accepted the ring. My fault was not believing his word. Afraid he would leave me for a 4th time a stayed friends with the friend of 5 years. My boyfriend found out and things got ugly. I moved up to his state to prove that I loved him but after moving up we have had issues like every other couple. He had broken up with me 3 more times. This time is for good he says and I want to respect his wishes but I love him and knows he loves me. What can I do although I don't want to let him go..I know he was talking to one of his ex while we weren't together not to long ago and it bothered me so much that I contacted my old friend. It was a stupid mistake on my part but I was never planning to start a new relationship with him. I just needed someone to talk. Should I try to forget or wait no matter how long it takes to see if it was just a mistake on his part telling me he didn't want nothing with me again. I really need some advice. I love him so much I'm going insane..