The right thing do is the right thing to do; it should be done. How could someone leave a child with an untrustworthy mother and a father who may or may not stay after finding out about the child. I say it's best to get married before learning, because, if the child is OP's, then he raises his child with his wife who probably never cheated in the first place. If they get married and the child isn't his, then he helps raise who would probably have not had a very good family, otherwise. To wait for a DNA test would just be putting off the decision, since the question should have the same answer either way.
It's never the right thing to commit to a long term relationship to someone you know is untruthful and unfaithful. The very bases of a long term relationship is trust and mutual understanding.
That is a path to a person's own destruction. So you think its right to destroy another based on lies - just because "it might" protect someone else.
95% of a person's success in life is based on who they associate with - and the recommendation is to stay away from liars and cheats.
If it is not his child - I'd leave the Child future to others. It's not his responsibility.
Now if it is his child - then he has responsibilities. That may or may not include marriage though.
The basis of marriage isn't trust and mutual understanding; it's love and union. They're not the same thing. The two partners must want what's best for each other, and they must also be able to forgive each other. There are technically other rules, but I won't bore you things like the "openness to life" clause. To destroy oneself for the sake of another is good, but to destroy another for the sake of oneself or another is evil. Out of the possibilities, the child is clearly benefited more by OP staying. It may not be his responsibility, but it's the right thing to do either way. To leave the child is to cause it's "destruction" in some ways. However, even if staying causes his destruction, it would still be the right decision for OP to make, for the child's sake.
IT’S NOT CHEATING IF…
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The right thing do is the right thing to do; it should be done. How could someone leave a child with an untrustworthy mother and a father who may or may not stay after finding out about the child. I say it's best to get married before learning, because, if the child is OP's, then he raises his child with his wife who probably never cheated in the first place. If they get married and the child isn't his, then he helps raise who would probably have not had a very good family, otherwise. To wait for a DNA test would just be putting off the decision, since the question should have the same answer either way.
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olderdude-xx
2 years ago
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RoseIsabella
2 years ago
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It's never the right thing to commit to a long term relationship to someone you know is untruthful and unfaithful. The very bases of a long term relationship is trust and mutual understanding.
That is a path to a person's own destruction. So you think its right to destroy another based on lies - just because "it might" protect someone else.
95% of a person's success in life is based on who they associate with - and the recommendation is to stay away from liars and cheats.
If it is not his child - I'd leave the Child future to others. It's not his responsibility.
Now if it is his child - then he has responsibilities. That may or may not include marriage though.
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Clunk42
2 years ago
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The basis of marriage isn't trust and mutual understanding; it's love and union. They're not the same thing. The two partners must want what's best for each other, and they must also be able to forgive each other. There are technically other rules, but I won't bore you things like the "openness to life" clause. To destroy oneself for the sake of another is good, but to destroy another for the sake of oneself or another is evil. Out of the possibilities, the child is clearly benefited more by OP staying. It may not be his responsibility, but it's the right thing to do either way. To leave the child is to cause it's "destruction" in some ways. However, even if staying causes his destruction, it would still be the right decision for OP to make, for the child's sake.
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RoseIsabella
2 years ago
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I don't think OP should dedicate his life to a child who isn't his.
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Clunk42
2 years ago
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Why shouldn't he? It would me the morally kind thing to do.
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RoseIsabella
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So he should stay with a cheating woman, and raise some other guy's kid, because, it would be the kind thing to do"? What about OP, what his life?
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Clunk42
2 years ago
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Kind people put others before themselves.
That's not fair to OP.
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Clunk42
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The entirety of the situation is unfair to everyone in it. It's unfair to the girlfriend, unfair to OP, and unfair to the child.
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RoseIsabella
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If it's not his kid he should dump the girlfriend.