OK, I gather you started it out as a sexual fantasy of being dominated by a female. I also gather you realized the fantasy was MUCH better KEPT in your head, and not too enjoyable when it became a reality. Fear of physical injury and the reality of the associated pain made it no fun.... am I correct?
My advice? Find someone you can trust utterly. Ask her to tie you up, to gently dominate you, to tenderly order you to be submissive. Choose someone you know will not betray you, and someone that knows how hard to slap, and someone that will go harder or softer at your directions. Once the 'pace' or level is established, ask her to proceed in the future without instruction. You may begin to really enjoy sex, women, and a real relationship.
I was with someone that wanted me to 'dominate' him, mentioned me slapping him... I was a bit drunk and said, "I'll slap you!" and did. Harder than he wanted, and he never gave me the chance to do or explore that venue again. Do not be closed off, it kills the fun, hurts us to not be trusted. Be open with your feelings, she will be there for you- just find her.
Is this story worringly abnormal
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OK, I gather you started it out as a sexual fantasy of being dominated by a female. I also gather you realized the fantasy was MUCH better KEPT in your head, and not too enjoyable when it became a reality. Fear of physical injury and the reality of the associated pain made it no fun.... am I correct?
My advice? Find someone you can trust utterly. Ask her to tie you up, to gently dominate you, to tenderly order you to be submissive. Choose someone you know will not betray you, and someone that knows how hard to slap, and someone that will go harder or softer at your directions. Once the 'pace' or level is established, ask her to proceed in the future without instruction. You may begin to really enjoy sex, women, and a real relationship.
I was with someone that wanted me to 'dominate' him, mentioned me slapping him... I was a bit drunk and said, "I'll slap you!" and did. Harder than he wanted, and he never gave me the chance to do or explore that venue again. Do not be closed off, it kills the fun, hurts us to not be trusted. Be open with your feelings, she will be there for you- just find her.