There are so many things wrong with your response that I'm not sure where to start ....
OK: he's not going to be normal if he's grown up with a mother like that and what sort of parent demands instant obedience at all times with the penalty for disobeying being kicked out of home? Families aren't supposed to be mini-fascist states.
It seems clear to me that he has tried to live in peace with her but that she's the abnormal manipulative one in this scenario and has beaten him down so much over the years it's hard for him to escape. He has tried to do so but she manipulates him into returning.
I suppose you'll call your response "tough love" as you've described similar ones in the past: tough yes, love is nowhere to be seen either in your response or this poor bloke's family
Why would anyone stand up to someone they know is going to go apeshit if they do, in a domestic situation? Ego? Pride? There is no plus in it.
This is a very sick TWO sided relationship, obviously. But he can't blame her for everything as at this point he is equally responsible because he knows exactly how she will respond to whatever he chooses to do.
Moving out permanently is his ONLY chance for any kind of normal life, but he will probably require years of therapy..
He's not equally responsible, how could he be when he's the child (albeit an adult one) and she's the parent who set up this dynamic and has perpetuated it all his life? Unless you know something I don't, there are no magic wands available to people stuck in oppressive personal relationships and he has the least power in the situation and needs support to get out and move on. He's courageous to be even questioning it and trying to get away and I hope next time he's successful.
Is this normal or narcissistic behavior from a mother
↑ View this comment's parent
← View full post
There are so many things wrong with your response that I'm not sure where to start ....
OK: he's not going to be normal if he's grown up with a mother like that and what sort of parent demands instant obedience at all times with the penalty for disobeying being kicked out of home? Families aren't supposed to be mini-fascist states.
It seems clear to me that he has tried to live in peace with her but that she's the abnormal manipulative one in this scenario and has beaten him down so much over the years it's hard for him to escape. He has tried to do so but she manipulates him into returning.
I suppose you'll call your response "tough love" as you've described similar ones in the past: tough yes, love is nowhere to be seen either in your response or this poor bloke's family
--
thegypsysailor
7 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Why would anyone stand up to someone they know is going to go apeshit if they do, in a domestic situation? Ego? Pride? There is no plus in it.
This is a very sick TWO sided relationship, obviously. But he can't blame her for everything as at this point he is equally responsible because he knows exactly how she will respond to whatever he chooses to do.
Moving out permanently is his ONLY chance for any kind of normal life, but he will probably require years of therapy..
--
Ellenna
7 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
He's not equally responsible, how could he be when he's the child (albeit an adult one) and she's the parent who set up this dynamic and has perpetuated it all his life? Unless you know something I don't, there are no magic wands available to people stuck in oppressive personal relationships and he has the least power in the situation and needs support to get out and move on. He's courageous to be even questioning it and trying to get away and I hope next time he's successful.
I do agree with your last sentence
--
CowboySaiyan
7 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Thanks. Gypsy is right in a way, it takes two to tango. Thanks for your responses though, they've been helpful.