Is this normal for a proposal?

This story is a bit complex so bear with me...today I was talking to this girl who opened up to me about something very personal, kind of suddenly. She was talking to me about a famous man she knew for a year before his death (I'm not giving any hints, I want to respect his privacy and his family's, especially since he wasn't as well known towards the end). She messaged me kind of out of the blue because she noticed I was a fan, so out of curiosity I asked how she knew him, then she said "can we please stop talking about this, it's really painful" which I understood, so I didn't continue to respond.

Then a little later she messaged me again and told me they had a thing going on during his final months, and he proposed to her out of the blue. And he made her promise him she wouldn't get married to anyone else so she will be his in heaven (he was terminally ill and knew he didn't have much time left). I thought that seemed unusual, like, most people are okay with their spouses remarrying after their death, but I understand everybody is different. She claims she is close with his friends but she was kind of vague about that, except she told a close friend of his about her promise to stay single forever, and he didn't respond.

My gut feeling is telling me something is off, but I don't see any solid evidence she is lying so I don't want to be insensitive and assume, know what I'm saying? She's messaging me a lot and seems nice, but if she's lying or delusional I don't want to encourage that. But of course I'm not going to ask her if she's lying. So does the proposal/promise sound normal to you? Do you think I should continue to talk to her? Don't comment if you're going to be nasty about spiritual beliefs please, I'm a spiritual person. Thanks in advance.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 25 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • All that and no mention of how this relates to you? Are you interested in her, why are you concerned?

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    • Well suddenly she's messaging me a lot and she seems nice but if it's not true I don't want to encourage lies or delusions...it's kind of a moral thing.
      Also I want to believe in the goodness of people but not be naive, know what I'm saying?

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      • I understand, I meant who is she to you? A random stranger who texted a random phone, someone you went to school with, your mother, sister, ex girlfried??

        If she is famous herself it's normal, if she is a homeless crack whore it's not normal.

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        • I didn't know her until today. She suddenly opened up to me about all of this. She noticed I was a fan of the deceased man whom she claims to have been involved with, that's why she messaged me. I don't want to accuse her of lying because I don't want to be insensitive, but part of me is skeptical. I haven't seen solid proof that it's true or that it isn't, though she did mention she contacted his sister and she was rude to her which could be a red flag, unless it's just her personality.

          I try to be careful what I believe and who I fully trust, but without being too cynical.

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  • this seems a bit weird for me too. sorry but i dont have anything more to say

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  • It's not normal, but I assume it happens, some people are selfish. She seems a bit suspicious though, she only told you once she knew you were a fan, even though she claimed she didn't want to talk about it.

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  • I think you should delete her because it could be a scam. Just sayin'.

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  • Getting married is very complicated for some people

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    • But I am not helping here with my statement.
      Plus I am still single. XD

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  • A few red flags here, as you've mentioned. The old "Oh no please, I don't want to talk about it" and two minutes later she's bringing it up again.

    None of this means it's not true. Most people are really skeptical of things like this, but in my experience ... well, they're often true.

    If it were me, I hate being treated like an idiot - which imo is how she's treating you. She clearly wants to seem important via her supposed relation to this person, but the constant game of "oh I don't want to talk about it" is just plain insulting and immature.
    So for that alone, I'd be bored already and leave her well alone. Whether or not what she's saying is true.... who really cares??

    Ok.. maybe you care, a little bit. But she knows that and is using it as leverage - to what end, who tf knows - and for that behaviour alone, no. Avoid.

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  • Just saying, if they were thinking about the Christian heaven, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage there.

    Jesus says so.

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  • Right throws a whole different light on things now you've told us you're female, especially if she is straight. Sorry, was assuming you are male. Does all seem pretty wierd though and completely agree with SkullsNRoses on this one. I would tread very carefully on this she could be some sort of elaborate scam artist.

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  • I'm guessing she reached out to you on social media? I'd be skeptical of her connection to Mr Deadguy until she can actually prove it e.g. with photos, there are a lot of liars online and for all you know she does this ritually to his male fans, tells them a tale of how she knew him to get their interest before seducing them into giving her money/place to stay/ whatever.

    Listen to your gut and stay skeptical until you see proof.

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    • I'm a female, but I agree to an extent; I'll have to see solid evidence to 100% believe it.

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      • Oh ok, it seems less likely she's after something in that case. Definitely weird with the whole vowing to stay single until she dies thing - how old is she?

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        • I'm not sure, I think she's in her 30s. She messaged me today and asked if there's anything more I want to know about him. I asked if she had met him in person (all she said was they had been tweeting each other for about a year before he passed), and she said "that's a bit personal don't u think? Can we plz stop talking about him and let him rest in peace", which seemed odd considering she brought up his name. I apologized and tried changing the subject and making casual conversation, and she abruptly ended the conversation. It's like she doesn't want to talk about anything else. I'm kind of confused.

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          • Wow that's weird, maybe she's delusional and thought they had a relationship when really she just obsessed over him and constantly tweeted him whilst convincing herself that they had something?

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  • I've known several people who were pathological liars. At this point I just expect it from people so I only care when their lies effect me personally, which could happen if you let your guard down.

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    • Or maybe the original author of this post is a pathological liar.

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  • She's probably trying to tell you she wants casual sex with you, but don't get any ideas about commitment.

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    • How exactly did you come to that conclusion?

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      • Well let's look at the facts, you refer to her as this girl which implies she is not well known to you. She's obviously interested in you as she keeps messaging you despite the fact you don't know her well. She has come out with some story about a relationship, with some dead guy, to whom she made a promise to never to get married. Kind of implies if anything happens between you she is not going to make any sort of commitment for the long term. I rest my case except to point out that you have even said it yourself, 'My gut feeling is telling me that something is off'.

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        • And the story is about a famous person she knows your interested in so she's definatly trying to make get your attention, flip the script and ask her some good shit or tell her about some good shit

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        • I'm a girl and I don't think she goes both ways...if she is lying it would probably be for attention, speaking hypothetically of course, I'm not assuming anything just yet.

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