It doesn't matter if it's a normal situation (it's not) it's a bad situation. Groups build narratives about their members and can twist reality to fit that narrative. In your grandmother's mind you are acting just as she accuses you of acting. Anything you do will be interpreted through the context of your perceived flaws. Most people aren't really able to step back and see their own interpetive participation in shaping reality, and they are particulalry unlikely to do so if it might mean admitting that they are wrong (this applies to you to).
If you care about changing your relationship with them more than about being "right" then you should stop yelling back. Don't plead guilty to anything you aren't responsible for, but also don't participate in these yelling matches as you are just escalating the situation. Do something kind for your grandma. You may not feel that she deserves it but if you can restart the positive reciprical cycle that wad there before things turned to shit she may eventually change her mind about you and resume being a loving grandmother.
Is this hatred inside my family normal?
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It doesn't matter if it's a normal situation (it's not) it's a bad situation. Groups build narratives about their members and can twist reality to fit that narrative. In your grandmother's mind you are acting just as she accuses you of acting. Anything you do will be interpreted through the context of your perceived flaws. Most people aren't really able to step back and see their own interpetive participation in shaping reality, and they are particulalry unlikely to do so if it might mean admitting that they are wrong (this applies to you to).
If you care about changing your relationship with them more than about being "right" then you should stop yelling back. Don't plead guilty to anything you aren't responsible for, but also don't participate in these yelling matches as you are just escalating the situation. Do something kind for your grandma. You may not feel that she deserves it but if you can restart the positive reciprical cycle that wad there before things turned to shit she may eventually change her mind about you and resume being a loving grandmother.