Is this hatred inside my family normal?

45% Normal
13 Comments

I'm 18 years old, male.

I grew up without my father, and I live with my grandparents, my mom , and a sister.

I think I hate them... except for my grandfather.

I know what you are thinking ("Everybody says that at your age").. I've been telling myself that I hate them for several years now, mostly everytime i have a fight with them. But after a couple of hours I realized that it was stupid and I was just angry and I didn't hate them.

But now it's different, I'm old enough to know when I "hate" someone. I don't feel the same way i used to.

My grandmother used to be loving and caring, but for a while now she's been treating me really badly... Not like a normal grandmother.

When I do something a normal boy of my age does (Doesn't clean his room, or I accidentally break a plate) She starts yelling at me, It's something like... "ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US? WE ARE TIRED OF YOU. YOU DO NOTHING WELL, YOU THINK YOU ARE A KING AND WE ARE YOUR SERVANTS!"

And I go like... "What are you talking about? Why do I think you are my servants? Cause of an accident? How does that make sense? I things to do... I don't sit around thinking how I am gonna screw up your day"

Anyhow... Everytime I make a mistake My mom, my sister and my grandmother Start yelling at me... specially my grandmother, she even INSULTS me.. what kind of grandmother does that?.

Then she goes to my mom and tells her that I was the one insulting her and yelling at her... Sometimes i DO yell at her, but only because she starts.

After she "tells on me" (Lol what? it was her who misbehaved) My mom starts yelling at me and tells me what a bad son I am.

I try to explain to her that I didn't do it. But she believes my grandmother.. obviously. Sometimes I wonder if she's thinking "Muahaha, I'm going to make your mom hate you"

After that most of the times i get really pissed off, cause everyone is lying, and claiming i did things that i actually didn't.

And my sister comes over and acts like "Stop it! It was you!" and she wan't even there, or sometimes she is and just lies about it. ... She lies just to make herself look good. She doesn't realize that she's contributing to breaking up a family...

Sometimes it's not my grandmother.. sometimes i fight with my sister... and she claims i did things i actually didn't and everyone in the family EVEN though they weren't there go like "Wow.. you think you are a macho-man? messing up with your little sister?" And she's the one who hits me and even tries to kick me in the balls.... I know i can't hit her, and when i have it's not hard and it's only if she starts hitting me and i have to stop her.

Voting Results
45% Normal
Based on 55 votes (25 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • brenrostumpy
    13 years ago

    Get outta there asap. I have the same problems with my family. I'm considered the only normal one. I HATE my sisters and mom. When I move out, I'm NEVER coming back.

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  • ultimatecodfan
    14 years ago

    My family is the same except my sister actually helps me but her daughter hates me and trys to hit me in my balls (my sisters 24)

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  • myweirdself16
    11 years ago

    Get out of there! They might just be picking on you because you're outnumbered by them.

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  • ramenthief
    13 years ago

    i have the same thing with my family i know when im angry or i hate them but i usually hate them. my whole family is like against me and its like its only my sister who knows how i feel. my mother says its not right to do this and that 5x all over again but its actually normal for me to do these things and she knows that like leaving my room door open forgetting to flush after i pee
    but heres the main point:
    Go be happy. Sometimes the world won't care a bit if you were sad. Might as well be happy.

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  • milkmonster77
    13 years ago

    im sure this is a really uneducated opinion but here goes....you are the only other man in this scenario except your grandpa..hence the love for him....women are all kind of fucked up in the head and they are never right but they all band together no matter what...they feel threatened by you cause you are old enough to be a man now and somewhere in their own pathetic lives they were all wronged by a man at least once so they will always band against you...i say be a man and stick with grandpa..he knows whats right cause hes been there for a long time...you are next in line to be the man of the family and these women need to realize that and respect that....keep true to yourself and dont let their accusations dissuade you from being the man that you really are.....welcome to the club brother :)

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  • Melodious
    13 years ago

    Thats not a very good place for you to be. Don't worry though college soon.

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  • supaflyafro
    13 years ago

    its not normal but i dont like anyone in my family except for a few of my cousins, my brother and my aunt chantell. i care about my family for what they done for me bu when it comes to everything else like them doing something awesome or being around them i could care less cuz i wanna be on my own as far away from every1 im related to. i cant be my true self around them cuz they expect me to act a certain way telling me i shouldnt act like dat or sumthin. i tell em ok but in my mind i tell em FUCK YOU! now is DAT normal? iono probably

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  • ttty
    14 years ago

    It doesn't matter if it's a normal situation (it's not) it's a bad situation. Groups build narratives about their members and can twist reality to fit that narrative. In your grandmother's mind you are acting just as she accuses you of acting. Anything you do will be interpreted through the context of your perceived flaws. Most people aren't really able to step back and see their own interpetive participation in shaping reality, and they are particulalry unlikely to do so if it might mean admitting that they are wrong (this applies to you to).

    If you care about changing your relationship with them more than about being "right" then you should stop yelling back. Don't plead guilty to anything you aren't responsible for, but also don't participate in these yelling matches as you are just escalating the situation. Do something kind for your grandma. You may not feel that she deserves it but if you can restart the positive reciprical cycle that wad there before things turned to shit she may eventually change her mind about you and resume being a loving grandmother.

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  • herecomesthesun
    14 years ago

    Maybe it's not normal to other people, but I think it's normal.
    Your situation is the same as mine. If I take a nap at the wrong time after having school and work I get told how lazy I am.
    Making one comment will cause a 4 hour fight.. Etc.

    Pretty much, people aren't going to change. But just think that soon enough you'll be out of there, and you'll be able to control what contact between you all happens. Nothing is forever, it'll be good soon enough. For both of us :)

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  • schmiaa1160
    14 years ago

    Ya my dads moving to Alaska and I have to pick between my parents and also I have to chose if the family stays together and my mom and I move to and we leave everything behind of if I stay in Colorado... They don't trust me to make the right disishons with who my friends r but this they trust me with... It sux

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  • Jessepie12
    14 years ago

    Help

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  • Jessepie12
    14 years ago

    I get in fights all the time with my bro um u should talk to my dad he can halo u

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  • TDG
    14 years ago

    Sounds like some family counceling is very needed. Good luck

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