Like randomjelly, something about the way your post was written made me suspicious. Neither of us are teenagers and I'm sure we both spot things we wouldn't have done when we were teenagers.
However, your post isn't written with the traditional male fantasist's voice (where detail is added salaciously and obviously). I could just about believe that what you're saying is true and, because of that slight chance, I'm going to do you the respect of giving you a proper answer.
The incest taboo exists because sexual jealousy splits families apart. While this man is your father, he is also the man your mother married and had at least one child with. It's difficult for anyone to deal with their husband cheating on them but when it's with her own daughter, there is a double betrayal. When it's his own daughter too, it absolutely must signal the end of your family unit. You write very intelligently. It makes me wonder why you haven't considered something as obvious as this point (one of the things that made me suspicious).
Can I ask why you think you have such sexual feelings for your father? I understand some girls seek men roughly in the image of their father as the bond between them and their father is the first strong inter-gender relationship they experience and one they unconsciously draw their blueprint from. Why do you think you have fixated on your actual father as opposed to a man with his qualities?
To fathers, their daughters will always be their little girls and to move from this image to the notion of his daughter in a sexual context is horrifying enough that thankfully most people never even give it a moment's consideration.
I understand that you may want what you want and little may change that, but you surely have to see that indulging these desires is the most harmful thing you could do. For yourself, your father, and for your mother. This is one evil genie that, once released, never goes back in its bottle.
You need to spend more time working out why you have these feelings, and less time trying to indulge them.
dabbled, Yes, I'm 18 yo and I do well in English Class so ... Thanks for the compliment =]
ok so I admit, you do make a good point about possibly hurting my mom, which I don't want to do. Yeah I had thought a little about that before ... but, is it really the same as being the "other woman"?? And of course if she never finds out then it won't hurt her either right?
I don't agree though that it would be harmful to me or my dad. As long as we're both cool with it, where's the harm? We're both legal adults.
On your question about why I think I feel this way ... I have no idea, TRULY I have no idea. And, is it really so important "why" I do? I just know that my feelings are very real. After all, I don't think I can honestly choose who I'm attracted to any more than someone who's gay can choose who they're attracted to. Would you agree?
I also know my feelings are real because of my nightly dreams about being with him (I can't control my dreams can I?) and, as I said in my post, the thought of it is about the only thing that gets me off. So yes, my body does truly know what it wants.
yes dabbled ,heh,and the others make very good points and i agree but i would like to point out how chillingly blase you are to the harm you would cause to the family, yr fathers life would be ruined same with yr mother lah de dah skipping along
No, it's absolutely not the same thing as being the other woman. It's worse. Far, far worse. In the same way as being betrayed by a friend is worse than being betrayed by a stranger, being betrayed by your own family is worse still. Your viewpoint seems to be that because you are all family, you should find it lass painful to share each other sexually. That's a viewpoint that very few people could agree with. If it was really so, why don't you just ask your mother whether you can have sex with your father? As for her not finding out, a crime becomes a crime when it is committed, not when it is detected or solved. If someone robs a banks and gets away with it, the bank still remains robbed.
As for it being no harm to you or your father, if you were both of the very rare mindset that thought this was normal, then perhaps. But as I said in the first post, it's a genie that doesn't go back in the bottle. Just because you think it's right now doesn't mean it'll always be right. How many of us here have slept with someone and later felt it was a mistake? It's easy to erase those mistakes from our life. It's less easy to erase a parent, let alone two.
Finally, yes, I think the reasons why you feel this are very important. I was being quite delicate in my first post and was leaving some things to be implied. One of those things is that I think this is a problem, whether it be psychological, hormonal, emotional, or whatever. It's something to be solved in order for you to make personal growth in your life rather than something to indulge and sink deeper into whatever it is that's making you feel this way. Exactly the same advice would apply whether this story is true or whether you're fantasising this.
ok ok I think we're getting a little off track here everyone. This site is not called "Is it Wrong?" or "Is it Moral" or whatever ... it's called "Is it Normal?" Like I asked in my original post, I'm really just interested in hearing IIN? or at least, is it not totally uncommon to have these feelings / urges?
Of course, any tips or suggestions, if you'd be kind enough to offer them, would be very appreciated as well ;-)
Is This Desire for My Dad Unusual?
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Like randomjelly, something about the way your post was written made me suspicious. Neither of us are teenagers and I'm sure we both spot things we wouldn't have done when we were teenagers.
However, your post isn't written with the traditional male fantasist's voice (where detail is added salaciously and obviously). I could just about believe that what you're saying is true and, because of that slight chance, I'm going to do you the respect of giving you a proper answer.
The incest taboo exists because sexual jealousy splits families apart. While this man is your father, he is also the man your mother married and had at least one child with. It's difficult for anyone to deal with their husband cheating on them but when it's with her own daughter, there is a double betrayal. When it's his own daughter too, it absolutely must signal the end of your family unit. You write very intelligently. It makes me wonder why you haven't considered something as obvious as this point (one of the things that made me suspicious).
Can I ask why you think you have such sexual feelings for your father? I understand some girls seek men roughly in the image of their father as the bond between them and their father is the first strong inter-gender relationship they experience and one they unconsciously draw their blueprint from. Why do you think you have fixated on your actual father as opposed to a man with his qualities?
To fathers, their daughters will always be their little girls and to move from this image to the notion of his daughter in a sexual context is horrifying enough that thankfully most people never even give it a moment's consideration.
I understand that you may want what you want and little may change that, but you surely have to see that indulging these desires is the most harmful thing you could do. For yourself, your father, and for your mother. This is one evil genie that, once released, never goes back in its bottle.
You need to spend more time working out why you have these feelings, and less time trying to indulge them.
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brookedanielle
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dabbled, Yes, I'm 18 yo and I do well in English Class so ... Thanks for the compliment =]
ok so I admit, you do make a good point about possibly hurting my mom, which I don't want to do. Yeah I had thought a little about that before ... but, is it really the same as being the "other woman"?? And of course if she never finds out then it won't hurt her either right?
I don't agree though that it would be harmful to me or my dad. As long as we're both cool with it, where's the harm? We're both legal adults.
On your question about why I think I feel this way ... I have no idea, TRULY I have no idea. And, is it really so important "why" I do? I just know that my feelings are very real. After all, I don't think I can honestly choose who I'm attracted to any more than someone who's gay can choose who they're attracted to. Would you agree?
I also know my feelings are real because of my nightly dreams about being with him (I can't control my dreams can I?) and, as I said in my post, the thought of it is about the only thing that gets me off. So yes, my body does truly know what it wants.
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yes dabbled ,heh,and the others make very good points and i agree but i would like to point out how chillingly blase you are to the harm you would cause to the family, yr fathers life would be ruined same with yr mother lah de dah skipping along
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dappled
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debilla :P
No, it's absolutely not the same thing as being the other woman. It's worse. Far, far worse. In the same way as being betrayed by a friend is worse than being betrayed by a stranger, being betrayed by your own family is worse still. Your viewpoint seems to be that because you are all family, you should find it lass painful to share each other sexually. That's a viewpoint that very few people could agree with. If it was really so, why don't you just ask your mother whether you can have sex with your father? As for her not finding out, a crime becomes a crime when it is committed, not when it is detected or solved. If someone robs a banks and gets away with it, the bank still remains robbed.
As for it being no harm to you or your father, if you were both of the very rare mindset that thought this was normal, then perhaps. But as I said in the first post, it's a genie that doesn't go back in the bottle. Just because you think it's right now doesn't mean it'll always be right. How many of us here have slept with someone and later felt it was a mistake? It's easy to erase those mistakes from our life. It's less easy to erase a parent, let alone two.
Finally, yes, I think the reasons why you feel this are very important. I was being quite delicate in my first post and was leaving some things to be implied. One of those things is that I think this is a problem, whether it be psychological, hormonal, emotional, or whatever. It's something to be solved in order for you to make personal growth in your life rather than something to indulge and sink deeper into whatever it is that's making you feel this way. Exactly the same advice would apply whether this story is true or whether you're fantasising this.
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brookedanielle
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ok ok I think we're getting a little off track here everyone. This site is not called "Is it Wrong?" or "Is it Moral" or whatever ... it's called "Is it Normal?" Like I asked in my original post, I'm really just interested in hearing IIN? or at least, is it not totally uncommon to have these feelings / urges?
Of course, any tips or suggestions, if you'd be kind enough to offer them, would be very appreciated as well ;-)
Put the shoe on the other foot. How would you like it if your daughter did that to your husband. You would probably call the police.