Is this bpd

I think I have BDP. I know there was something wrong with me before this because sometimes i didn't act normally like other people around me. I changed my personality a lot, more like i mimicked the personalities of other people who are likable by the society. But it didn't last long and I would start to follow another one. I don't know which one is the real me.
Sometimes, I am emotionally unstable. I would feel so sad and cry for no reason, and the next minute I would act like nothing had happened. I have a best friend and i love her a lot. But sometimes when she did something that didn't show she cared for me and such, even if it was just a small matter like didn't reply my message I'll start to get depressed and hated her. But after that I would love her back. It's so confusing and I am tired of feeling this way.
I'm moderately attractive since it is pretty easy for me to get the guys to like me but the hard part is to maintain the relationship. I haven't been in a proper relationship for a long time because I fear that the more they know me, then they will see what a bad person I am and I don't want that to happen.
I don't like to be with people who are more superior than me because it made me feel insecure. Being with people who i think are at the same or lower level than me made me feel comfortable.
I want to seek for medical treatment and see the psychiatrist for help. But I'm currently doing a pre-medic programme under government scholarship and i am afraid this will affect my future. What should i do?