I think you should trust your instinct. They are telling you something is not right with the way he is making you feel, so you are holding back. Controlling + insecure = abusive behavior in a person. He appears to be looking to blame his bad behavior on you. Once you start to accept responsibility you become a victim. Take responsibility for the way you react to what he says. What i did in that situation was If he got abusive and blaming i walked away and told him i would not spend time with him in his paranoid state. If he started to relate his bad behavior to me from his past. I would say " I'm sorry to hear that but I did not do that to you and i will not put up with you or any man treating me this way". My persistence paid off. His other girlfriend came out of the woodwork. I found out he was even more controlling with her. The experience was really bad, but fortunately i got out quick. Sometimes, we stay to long in relationships trying to figure out, fix with missing parts why they are wrong. Wisdom tells me we should be holding on to the ones that make us feel good the ones with all the parts that just need a service every now and then. If he is your mr wright he will respond to your effort to take responsibility and he will take his own behavior in hand and maybe even thanking you for the push. Give your self a time limit to sort this out.
Is this a normal "relationship"?
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I think you should trust your instinct. They are telling you something is not right with the way he is making you feel, so you are holding back. Controlling + insecure = abusive behavior in a person. He appears to be looking to blame his bad behavior on you. Once you start to accept responsibility you become a victim. Take responsibility for the way you react to what he says. What i did in that situation was If he got abusive and blaming i walked away and told him i would not spend time with him in his paranoid state. If he started to relate his bad behavior to me from his past. I would say " I'm sorry to hear that but I did not do that to you and i will not put up with you or any man treating me this way". My persistence paid off. His other girlfriend came out of the woodwork. I found out he was even more controlling with her. The experience was really bad, but fortunately i got out quick. Sometimes, we stay to long in relationships trying to figure out, fix with missing parts why they are wrong. Wisdom tells me we should be holding on to the ones that make us feel good the ones with all the parts that just need a service every now and then. If he is your mr wright he will respond to your effort to take responsibility and he will take his own behavior in hand and maybe even thanking you for the push. Give your self a time limit to sort this out.