Is there such a thing as a transgendered gay person?

for as long as I can remember, I have always and continue to feel that I am a man. problem 1? if and when I transition, I would not want to date women. I do not feel attraction to them, nor do I feel my self in current form. Problem 2? my name is very feminine and I can not part with it. it's apart of me and I can not see myself being called by anything else. I am just so confused. Should I just accept what I have been given, or should I act upon these feelings? Is this even a normal thing to be going through?

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76% Normal
Based on 34 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 57 )
  • JellyBeanBandit

    Yeah that sounds completely normal. Everyone's different and just because you're transgender you shouldn't expect yourself to fit perfectly into any transgender mold. You should probably join an lgbt group to try to connnect with other transgendered people and ask them about their experiences. Just remember that life is about doing what makes you happy in yourself, not about pleasing others. Good luck! :)

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  • WoodlandRose

    Is this just a sexual thing? Like just the desire to have a penis and the ability to insert it into things. Or do you relate as a man in everyday activities? Such a dressing as man, doing hobbies that are considered more masculine, or that feeling that you always were one of the "guys". Do you look at yourself in the mirror and see yourself and think of yourself as a man?

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    • I dont define my actions/ activities as having a gender, but I have that connection with the “guys” way more then I ever did/do with women... I often wake up, look in the mirror, and go “thats not me”. I try to dress the part as I hate dresses and detest wearing lots of makeup, and my Hair is super short

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      • einexile

        I think a lot of people do this when they look in the mirror. There's an old Hemingway story that touches on this, The Three Day Blow. "He smiled at the face in the mirror and it grinned back at him. He winked at it and went on. It was not his face but it didn't make any difference."

        You are some kind of eternal divine twinkle of starlight who for whatever reason has been imprisoned in an unspeakable pile of guts and mush for eighty some odd years. It's never going to feel right because it never made any sense to begin with.

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      • WoodlandRose

        You might have some transgender in you, you also might be the female equivalent of a "sissy" meaning you have fantasies of being the other sex. These fantasies don't have to be entirely sexual as many sissies still act out their fantasies in a non-sexual way. Almost like a fetish.

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  • SkullsNRoses

    Yes, gay and bi trans people exist.

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  • palehorse

    Yeah, you can be gay and transgender.

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  • mauzi

    Yes it is possible, keep the female name, who gives a fuk, it’s kind of cool/funny when an obviously male person has a female name

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  • curious-bunny

    I would talk to a professional on this one, only they cab say one way or another. But it's up to you to take that step. You have a lot of discovering to do

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  • kersery

    if you know anyone that's trans, you should try asking them about it! i'm no doctor, but it sounds like you're experiencing some feelings of gender dysphoria-- as someone who has questioned their identity before and whose friends are nonbinary or trans, it's really helpful to talk to someone about it

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  • Additional

    yes! I'm a trans male and I'm bi and I honestly want a boyfriend over a girlfriend!

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  • Stay a women. You will get more dick

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    • Honestly, I dont like getting fucked. I like doing the fucking.

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      • WeirdManFromTheSouth

        So you want to use a strap on on a man?

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        • if that were the case, my problem would be solved and my life could continue as regularly scheduled.

          It is more that I feel that my body is wrong. That I shouldnt have boobs and a vagina, but a dick instead.

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  • Doesnormalmatter

    WTF mate? How can you make a post asking is such a question without telling us your anatomy. Ill help you out.

    Step 1 : feel crouch for either a large hole that feels good to touch or a long shaft that you piss oit if that feels good to touch

    Step 2 : google male and female anatomy

    Step 3 : figure out your gender and post something we can actualky answer for you.

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    • I am anatomically a woman, do not feel as though I am a woman (wants male parts), personality wise still feel like a woman. Does that help?

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      • WeirdManFromTheSouth

        I believe this transgender thing is a faze. In 20 years everyone will move on and you'll stick out like a sore thumb as some genderless person. I wouldnt recommend taking hormones. Guys do not like masculine girls. Testosterone will change your body for good. Its a permanent decision.

        I'm not trying to be insensitive either as much as it sounds. I think its cruel to enable someone to make believe something thats not true. You cant be a boy. If you want to be transgender go ahead but you wont be a boy. Not everyone will go along with it either.

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        • I keep trying to convince myself that staying the way I am is for the best (as I will never truely be the opposite gender) but it makes me more sad trying to repress “something”

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          • WeirdManFromTheSouth

            But you wouldn't be thinking this way if you didn't see it everywhere. Think about it. It's encouraged these days. They say its heroic. It's all over the place. Why didnt everyone think about becoming transgender 10 years ago before it was popular and encouraged? Whyy does everyone now all of the sudden want to do this.

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            • palehorse

              Because... they aren't being oppressed anymore?

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            • leggs91200

              You might be the one to ask this -
              How come people are so damn worried about how us transgenders live, meanwhile, droves of white women are dating black men and rejecting the white male?

              I cannot imagine why anyone would want to be a white male, you own women do not see you as "men", only as cucks

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        • Jattai

          Its phase and I believe ignorant attitudes like yours are a phase. One day all the dinosaurs will die and we will be left with people who can just be whatever they want. It's not that people didn't think of it ten years ago. Of course they did but the ignorance was so much worse that they remained closeted just like gay people did for fear of persecution, violence and ostracism. The more acceptance there is the more people feel comfortable to come out.

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          • WeirdManFromTheSouth

            I dont buy that. Just all of a sudden everyone is now so enlightened? Fear of persecution and violence? Who's assaulting them? I dont care if people want to take hormones and pretend to be a different sex. It makes no difference to me. I just try to be impartial and offer another opinion on it. What IF she changes her mind? If she takes hormones she can't.

            Instead of just supporting EVERYONE to transition why don't you first make sure their heads in the right place? I don't think just anyone who has the thought of doing this should be encouraged by everyone immediately. There has been plenty of cases of people who have changed their minds you can read about. Try to see the other side of the coin also.

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            • Jattai

              You sound like Trump. No doubt a supporter. What will you say next?
              Fake news!! Who is assaulting them?? Are you serious? High levels of violence towards LGBT is a thing dude. If you're not even aware of that I'm not going to explain that to you. You can research that without me. Suicide rates are also much higher. Some countries are still executing LGBT.
              Brunei just announced this week that they are going to stone to death gay people. As far as I know transgender people go through many psychological tests before transitioning. Particularly younger people. No one would choose on a whim to live through the extreme difficulty of the life that comes along with being transgender in a world full of ignorance and hate in the same way that no-one would choose to be gay.
              You obviously don't even know any transgender people. If you did you wouldn't be sitting at home on your computer broadcasting such a load of misinformed crap about something you know nothing about.

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            • curious-bunny

              That's why thers a system in place. A system that's a real bitch go those if us that are really trabs but it fans out the confused and keeps them from making said mistakes

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        • I agree

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        • curious-bunny

          Yet your a chaser. A chaser who hates it's ridiculous. We've been around as long as humans gave been around. Historically we are part of life accept it. It's not a faze just acceptance has gone up so more of us feel safe to be free

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          • WeirdManFromTheSouth

            I knew you were going to be mad about the posts. How's that hate? Y'all throw that word around too lightly. I hate on it? Not really

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            • curious-bunny

              You do. You say trans is just a fad etc yet ignore the thousands of years we have been around. You ignore logic history and science for your own opinions ie hating man. And I wouldn't quite say mad just hate seeing such ignorance

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      • curious-bunny

        Your not trans.

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        • Maid_in_Pink

          I hate to break it to you bunny but...you're not qualified to make that decision and just a glance over what they have been saying fits with unresolved gender dysphoria according to the DSM-5. Now, that doesn't mean they are or are not trans, there is a lot of variance like gender fluidity and a few other points but you can't just be like "your not trans." Partially because you used the wrong form of "your" it's actually "you're" and then also because they don't know that so how can you?

          In today's society people who are trans or non-binary suffer from a wide array of issues some of which stem from societal grief, like they see people on TV or the internet making fun of trans people so they have a negative image of it and they refuse to come to terms with it. Someone doesn't have to fit into your neat little packaged idea of what Trans may or may not be to be trans or not be. There is a chance they could be trans but also gender fluid and maybe their existence is having some male bits and female bits.

          Neither you nor I get to define that, a professional will have several sessions and talk with them to determine how best to help them. The simple fact that someone who meets a lot of the criteria agreed with you shows how easy it is for society to come through and them just be like, "You are right, here is my box and I shall stay in my box where it is safe."

          It honestly makes me question a bit the authenticity of your own transgender statements since those of us who are "real" transgender people should know how we are diagnosed and treated because we have spent hundreds of hours talking about it and everything connected to it including that self loathing from societal pressures.

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          • curious-bunny

            I'm going off of the part stating they don't want to be a guy just have a dick. In the broad spectrum of being trans tgat does not qualify. Look I work 18 hour shifts 6 days a week. Usually 7. I am sleep and food deprived. So taking the tine to do a full on response is just not gonn a happen. Going off the bases of what I said above fron what she said she's not trans. Not a crossdressers even. She's sonething else but trans is not it. The wanting of ones genitals to be diffrent and that's it to me sounds like a fantasy type of thing but regardless on my own personal beliefs she's not trans she's sonething else. If you notice in another comment I still said she should talk to a proffesional. So do not give me that crap.

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            • Maid_in_Pink

              Pretty sure I just explained how there is a lot more to it, especially considering social interactions and you're still all blah blah blah whine whine whine.

              You're not a professional, stop making definitive statements like that. I'm literally missing my license, I have all the required coursework to be licensed I'm just not and I don't talk to people like I am. Trans just like everything else is a spectrum of existence. You can be trans and not be gender binary the same as she could very well just be a woman and not gender binary but I can't say that one way or another just like you SHOULDN'T be saying that because haha surprise you're not a professional.

              Also 18 hour shifts at a single job is against federal labor laws, if you're working more than one job then you're working 18 plus travel puts you near 20 hrs, meaning you're sleeping 4 hours a night TOPS more like 2-3, doing that for more than 4 weeks straight would give you a stroke and you would most likely die.

              So do not give me that crap.

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            • From my research, most who have successfully transitioned have never said they “feel like X”. It’s always “I am X”. I don’t want to say this is a fantasy as it puts me in the same category of sickos who use TG to creep on people in the bathroom (if those people exist), but something isn’t right with my brain and it’s an awful feeling.

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        • I am going to a psychiatrist on tuesday, for other issues, but this is something I will mention. I know I am not trans, but I want to come to terms with why I have this deep desire to change my body

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          • curious-bunny

            That's good you know your not. Just beware if you find a doc eilling to do it you'll need testicles. Without them erection chance is low and you'll depend on Viagra. Witg testicles you'll slowky become a man unless you take feminization hormones. If you take that road it won't be easy

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            • I have been struggling with these thoughts and feelings since I was 12 (and hit puburty). I have a feeling that talking it out with a non objective voice will help me figure this all out. It’s not something I want to rush, and my wallet (with insurance) will not really cover much past the hormone therapy.

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