Is the relationship that i have with my best friend normal?

44% Normal
9 Comments

Over the past year and a half I've gotten really close to one of my guy friends. For nine months he was away at school but we texted almost everyday and hung out whenever he came home. Over the summer we got increasingly closer. He would come over and spend the night at my house about once a week and nothing sexual would happen. But we would cuddle and he'd stroke my hair to help me sleep or rub my back. Sometimes he'd kiss me on the forehead or the cheek. We know everything about each other. Now that he's at school we skype all the time and if we go a few days without talking he'll nonstop apologize to me and tell me how much he misses me. The catch is..he has a girlfriend. And they've been together for three years. AND i've never met her. So I wonder if he thinks that the relationship we have is appropriate. Is it normal to be this close with another girl that isn't your girlfriend? He always insists that I'm his best friend and he tells me how great I am. But I don't know if I'm crossing the line with this guy. I'd hate to lose his friendship, we get along so so so great. But I'm starting to feel bad for his girlfriend because I'm not sure if she's aware of our relationship.

Voting Results
44% Normal
Based on 94 votes (41 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Trust your judgement on this. He is cheating emotionally and you can tell that that line has been crossed.

    Perhaps you can level with him. Talk to him about his intentions regarding his gf & you. If you are interested in a romantic relationship let him know that that isn't going to happen if he is already taken.

    If you are not interested, pour some water on some of this & keep it strictly friends only.

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  • Jen118584
    14 years ago

    Yeah, this isn't really normal behavior for friends. Don't get me wrong, it's kind of lovely that you can be so close and since he's never made a sexual move, he must be a really great guy. My boyfriend's good buddy from college kisses me on the forehead when he hugs me and tells me how much he misses me and calls me darlin' and all....but we don't see each other often and I don't feel the need to talk to him all the time. And my boyfriend knows how close we are in that way and is fine with it.

    Your friend probably respects you because you know he has a gf and you've never tried to take things to the next level even though you've had the opportunity. He probably feels like you are different from most other girls, and he's probably right. Ollie is right though, he is emotionally cheating. I wouldn't want my boyfriend acting this way around a girl friend of his.

    You just have to ask yourself if you really ARE interested in this guy romantically and/or sexually. If you aren't positive, I wouldn't jeopardize your friendship by trying to make it into something that it's not. He obviously gets something from you that he doesn't get from his girlfriend, though, so maybe he needs to do some soul searching and find out if he's really happy where he's at.

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  • CuriousPenis
    13 years ago

    Steeeaaalll hhhiiimmmm.

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  • doopdoop
    9 years ago

    Ok.....so you have never met his girlfriend or talked to her. Does he spend lots of time with you? May he has a boyfriend and isn't ready to tell......dun....dun....dunnnnnn

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  • arby391
    10 years ago

    Idk it might be but if you feel you have crossed the line or he has. You should talk to him. Just like you usually would but mire serious. He would understand trust me he might take it personally idk but just be prepared.

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  • purpleflower
    11 years ago

    It would be normal... if he didn't have a girlfriend. He's fast approaching the line of cheating.

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  • Xarius
    12 years ago

    it's normal and increasingly popular in today's social society but it's up to you to feel comfortable knowing his gf wouldn't like this, if you were with him and it was the other way around would you want him hanging out with her like he does with you? :)

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  • Lonely2
    13 years ago

    Life is short..a little time on this planet and then poof ...you are no more...never...the amount of love and connections you have in life is real small..don, t throw it away...that his problem..don,t ever feel sorry for other people...they will get their needs met long before you do

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  • SomeoneAbitGood
    14 years ago

    I have a similar relationshop with my best friend in that we're exceedingly close and tell eachother everything. My situation used to be the opposite to yours, although i was in a long term relationship with my boyfriend at the time, i'd always hug my friend and kiss him on the cheek before we parted and i never thought anything of it.

    I think the best thing you can do, especially since you are so close, is to talk to him about it. You need to decide whether or not you do like him in that way before you do anything although i'm sure he'll understand if you're unsure. Perhaps you should try to meet his girlfriend and see what kind of relationship they have, this may help you in seeing whether he does see you as more than a friend. Either way you must approach him carefully as you do not want to risk losing him as a friend.

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