Is normal to feel nervous when my husband touches me when we're having sex?

I tried and almost succeeded, until the VA has me go talk with a local counselor. They asked standard questions to begin the process. As he started asking me, one of which was if I had ever been sexually assaulted while in the military. I just pretty much lost it and broke down in front of the counselor. So then afterwards it would rear it's head into my thoughts now and then enough to make me continue my battle with depression because of it. I would really suggest even this far in the situation for you to talk to somebody. A professional that can help you learn how to be able to live again. It sounds like you are still in survival mode from your attack. Your husband probably loves you as much as when he married you. Shouldn't he be able to make love to his wife without feeling like he's a predator. For your sanity, your husband's ability to hold you and you not freak out on him, and your marriage- if you have a family Dr. call for appt for a referral. If you don't have medical, see if your town or county has a mental health clinic. Above all DON'T BE ASHAMED OR EMBARRASSED TO OPEN UP. I will bet you will feel so much better when you can learn to put those memories away and lock them up in your mind. You get touched by your husband and your mind flashes back to your assault. Be stronger and don't let that attack define who you are or who you are gonna be. If you know who your attacker was if you try to persue charges, maybe that will give you closure. If that's what you need. My situation - I don't know his name. We all just called him "Doc". I will never get justice and neither will Mary, the girl I worked with and any other victims he may have left struggling in his path of destruction. Please go find someone to talk to. Get it figured out. Don't you want to live again and maybe enjoy making love to your husband ? I bet he looks forward to it. Best of luck to you, I'm sorry that happened to you.