From what I can read, he didn't realize just how different children can be raised, and therefore how different a childhood can be, until he met his current wife.
Then he started comparing both 'worlds', and apparently feels awful about the fact that he had it more difficult than she does. Not that it's your fault though, that's just reality.
He feels the social injustice, and can't find a justification or an escape. Therefore his - I would say- selfish way of dealing with this, is trying to hurt the one who is partly responsible for it - his own mother. Even though I think deep down he knows that it's not at all your fault.
Maybe he should come to terms with his past first, before he can get to act normal around you again. I would just try to make him aware that you understand his built up frustration, but that you did your best to give him the best education and childhood you could. This is the only thing you can really do. It has to come from his side as well.
I guess that's why people used to marry in the same social class and/or wealth class before our society become more socially mobile. The differences are still there though, and this may lead to a sad situation like this, because all the psychological wheight is now put on the shoulders of the individual.
But that's just my opinion.
Hope it works out well for you though, you sound like a caring mother.
First off I'd like to thank you for taking the time to help me understand this problem I've dwelled on for five years. Really five years without a Call, letter, email, text.one time after I called him a bunch of times he had a friend of his call me and tell me the they would be going to the police to report me if I didn't stop. I just live in fear that i may never see him again. I've had some major health issues including cancer. And want him and I to start to repair the issues we my have before any more health problems.You much be a professional at this because you've seem to hit the nail on the head. And thanks for all positive words of wisdom. I can really use them
is my sons behavior normal?
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From what I can read, he didn't realize just how different children can be raised, and therefore how different a childhood can be, until he met his current wife.
Then he started comparing both 'worlds', and apparently feels awful about the fact that he had it more difficult than she does. Not that it's your fault though, that's just reality.
He feels the social injustice, and can't find a justification or an escape. Therefore his - I would say- selfish way of dealing with this, is trying to hurt the one who is partly responsible for it - his own mother. Even though I think deep down he knows that it's not at all your fault.
Maybe he should come to terms with his past first, before he can get to act normal around you again. I would just try to make him aware that you understand his built up frustration, but that you did your best to give him the best education and childhood you could. This is the only thing you can really do. It has to come from his side as well.
I guess that's why people used to marry in the same social class and/or wealth class before our society become more socially mobile. The differences are still there though, and this may lead to a sad situation like this, because all the psychological wheight is now put on the shoulders of the individual.
But that's just my opinion.
Hope it works out well for you though, you sound like a caring mother.
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tigermon
11 years ago
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First off I'd like to thank you for taking the time to help me understand this problem I've dwelled on for five years. Really five years without a Call, letter, email, text.one time after I called him a bunch of times he had a friend of his call me and tell me the they would be going to the police to report me if I didn't stop. I just live in fear that i may never see him again. I've had some major health issues including cancer. And want him and I to start to repair the issues we my have before any more health problems.You much be a professional at this because you've seem to hit the nail on the head. And thanks for all positive words of wisdom. I can really use them