Is my sons behavior normal?

17% Normal
18 Comments

At 22 I gave birth to my only child a son. when he was 14 months old His father and I divorced I loved my son with all my heart and he and I where very close. His father did not see him or pay child support which I could have used but i was happy just to have my son. I worked hard to support him and I and we did have some hard times. But he always assured me that I was a good mother and that he loved me. Time passes I remarry and new husband and son do have some problems at first but over the years work things out and become great friends. and we alway have a great relationship always working out any problem we may have immediatly and in a loving way. after his honorable discharge from the navy my son returns home to our home but then after a year Moves 12 hours away for a job and to move to a bigger city. he meets and falls in love with the love of his life. they plan and have a beauitful wedding on the beach. She to is an only child but has had things just given to her where my child has had to work or join the navy for his education. ect ect. I am very happy that he has met her and I tell her so. anyway to make a long story short. after the wedding I feel a coolness when ever I talk with him on the phone and also notice that he never is calling me. So I continue to ask him whats wrong?Then one day he tells my husband what a bad mother I was, I dated to much when he was little, His wife gets on the phone and tell my husband we should have paid for his education. And the car that we help him purchase only by using our credit he made the payments. he would not be making the last 2 payments on it we could pick it up keep our self and make the payments our let ford come and get it. (that crazy hes made thousand of dollars in payments on it already). anyway Its been 5 years now and he refuses to take my calls, letters, texts,he claims I've destroyed his childhood. He also has cut out all family or friends that have anything to do with me.I feel its because he has lied about something in his past and does not want his wife to hear the truth from anyone in the family or friends. help me and let me know what you think. IIN?

Voting Results
17% Normal
Based on 88 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • AngAnders112
    12 years ago | pl

    sounds like wifey is pulling he strings on this one. sounds like she's brainwashed him.

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    • littlelulu1999
      12 years ago

      sounds about right

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    The wife's a bitch who has put her own spin on his childhood by trying to psychoanalyse why you did things - and she hasn't a bloody clue!! She hasn't had to sacrifice anything. It's probably just easier for him to nod and smile so as not to rock the boat with her. It's her he has to live with so it's easier for him to choose her over you.

    I know some extremely dominant wives who have done this with their husbands and I think it just comes down to their own insecurities and jealousies. It's ridiculous coz we expect the men to stand up for themselves but in reality they just keep their mouths shut.

    This is very sad for you, but you're going to have to shrug it off as there's nothing you can do until he comes to his senses. Don't let the witch see she's managing to hurt you coz that's what she's trying to do!!

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    • littlelulu1999
      12 years ago

      good post joybird....my brother went through the same thing with his extremely dominating wife...he has cut everybody out of his life for 3 years now (friends, family)...sad

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    yeah that sounds mean why doesnt wife say something nice and smooth things, it points to her

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  • Allyster_Nightwind
    12 years ago

    Sounds like my brother's first wife. She was all sweet and oh so lovely, but after the wedding she turned into an uber bitch. She would complain about my brother talking to our mom and to me. After about 2 years he finally divorced her and now she won't let him see his son, but she wants him to pay child support. I hated her.

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  • AnonymousCanada
    12 years ago

    this is a very delicate situation. my first thought is that he has had a substandard childhood and since you were the only one there, you are the only one he can blame. your thought of him lying to his partner and doing all this to cover that up is also a possibility. you should visit him in person and ask him why he hates you so much when all you have done is try to make his life sustainable under the difficult circumstances. and above all, let him know that you love him even if he doesnt love you and let him know that you were only doing your best with what you had. if this doesnt work, then forget him. i know this is a horrible thing for me to say but if he doesnt want anything to do with you then dont force it if none of the above works, it will only make him hate you more.

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  • POM
    12 years ago

    From what I can read, he didn't realize just how different children can be raised, and therefore how different a childhood can be, until he met his current wife.

    Then he started comparing both 'worlds', and apparently feels awful about the fact that he had it more difficult than she does. Not that it's your fault though, that's just reality.

    He feels the social injustice, and can't find a justification or an escape. Therefore his - I would say- selfish way of dealing with this, is trying to hurt the one who is partly responsible for it - his own mother. Even though I think deep down he knows that it's not at all your fault.

    Maybe he should come to terms with his past first, before he can get to act normal around you again. I would just try to make him aware that you understand his built up frustration, but that you did your best to give him the best education and childhood you could. This is the only thing you can really do. It has to come from his side as well.

    I guess that's why people used to marry in the same social class and/or wealth class before our society become more socially mobile. The differences are still there though, and this may lead to a sad situation like this, because all the psychological wheight is now put on the shoulders of the individual.

    But that's just my opinion.

    Hope it works out well for you though, you sound like a caring mother.

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    • tigermon
      12 years ago

      First off I'd like to thank you for taking the time to help me understand this problem I've dwelled on for five years. Really five years without a Call, letter, email, text.one time after I called him a bunch of times he had a friend of his call me and tell me the they would be going to the police to report me if I didn't stop. I just live in fear that i may never see him again. I've had some major health issues including cancer. And want him and I to start to repair the issues we my have before any more health problems.You much be a professional at this because you've seem to hit the nail on the head. And thanks for all positive words of wisdom. I can really use them

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    He sounds rude.

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  • BareClaire
    7 years ago

    It does sound like his new wife is putting ideas in his head and its possible the Navy may have also had an effect.
    All you can do is be there for him and keep contact. Always let him know you love him and just never argue with him if you can avoid it.
    If it is the wife manipulating him she will overstep the mark and spend too much of his money and he will realise she is bad news.
    Then perhaps he will apologise to you and renew your relationship.
    I sincerely wish you all the very best and hope it all works out and soon.

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  • imsadineedutohelp
    7 years ago

    im sorry :(

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  • Satchmo
    12 years ago

    His wife is a manipulative bitch I feel sorry for you

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  • chewy
    12 years ago

    Too damn long to read

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  • GibbyAbigail
    12 years ago

    I feel sorry for you

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  • zchristian
    12 years ago

    Well just what did you do when he was little...

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    • tigermon
      12 years ago

      I was not purfect and had to work long hours but he was alway in good child care schools. I also made sure that I was part of his life after school by being a den mother for the cub scouts and team mom for the little league.When he got older I made sure he never missed a meeting for his civial air patrol that he joined at 13 till 18 years. including ever summer special events he wanted to attend for afew weeks that were very expensive. I must include he is very smart which i found out after his school IQ tested him at 8 years.besides lots of high scores he had the arithmetic reasoning of an average adult. I did push education for him. and he has grad. college. I didnt grad. from high school. He was spanked maybe two time but not hard. And after the navy he got a bunch of tattoos he knows I hate them. and he also got one on his chest with a rose and my name on it. Aganist my wishes. I was told before he stopped taking my calls that he was removing it. I told him I didnt care because I hate tatoos anyway. thanks for any and all outside help everyone. also he is doing well in his business and has 3 shops

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      • zchristian
        12 years ago

        I dont see any big reasons for him to hate you...

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