Your willingness to discuss ending your life is a major concern and requires immediate action. Most of the things you describe are consistent with Major Depression. Please find somebody you trust and get help NOW. You are 14 years old and things will eventually get better for you... but you have to live to tell about it. You do have value and worth... Talk to your parents, a counselor, a friend... Anybody you trust. DO it now. Do it today.
Is my life normal at all?
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Your willingness to discuss ending your life is a major concern and requires immediate action. Most of the things you describe are consistent with Major Depression. Please find somebody you trust and get help NOW. You are 14 years old and things will eventually get better for you... but you have to live to tell about it. You do have value and worth... Talk to your parents, a counselor, a friend... Anybody you trust. DO it now. Do it today.