Is my life normal at all?

31% Normal
9 Comments

I just discovered this website, seems really nice.
Ok, I`m a INTP girl.
I did some tests online and so, and most of them came up with depression and psychopathy or something like that.
I know I`m depressive, I`ve been like this for some years now, so nothing biggie here.
But I recently noticed I simply copy what other people do when they feel something, and I don`t really feel the actual thing. It`s natural to me, I think I`m doing it for years. Well, it`s getting harder lately, since I`m not able to smile properly, but I can manage it.
I feel something really rare and that feeling is very strong.
I`m antisociable, I know it. I just hate people, in general. But I really like to observe them, it`s fun.I have like 4-5 friends, and I`m 14 years old.
I often think of hurting someone and maybe killing a random person just to see how it`s like. I haven't done it yet just because I know it's wrong.
I would never hurt a animal, would it not attack me! I just find animals the closest things to me.
I`m bored all the time. Some years ago I said I will kill myself when I don't have anything else to do. I feel like that time is near...
I like to read and write a lot. Thrillers, mystery, horrors mostly...
So, is my life normal at all?
Could I get some advices, please?
edit: I forgot to say I`m really paranoid too, but I think it`s just a game my mind came up with so I don`t die of boredom.

Voting Results
31% Normal
Based on 45 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • gbulldawg5
    13 years ago

    Grow the hell up.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    You're 14 and I'm not being patronizing sweetie but you've still got a lot of growing up to do. I'm 21 and took online tests like that and they all said something different.

    As for the INTP thing... I didn't know what that was until a few moments ago but seriously even though it's by Jung, don't stick a label to yourself.

    I've had my own problems and I'm terribly antisocial but I know that I can enjoy being around people with effort.

    Maybe just thinking positively and maturing a little more would help you "wake up".

    As for killing yourself, why not try channeling your energies into something else instead of believing you'll kill yourself.

    Life is about learning and you've still got a lot of time to grow up.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Don't kill yourself. At my local animal shelter over 600 dogs hve been euthanized this year. Don't waste your life give it a purpose and help some animals that are in a terrible situation like you. I love animals too and they make me a better person that's gunner to talk to. Please give it a try:)

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    • lovecats
      13 years ago

      I love this comment. Animals have helped me so much in my life <3

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  • gomer99
    13 years ago

    Your willingness to discuss ending your life is a major concern and requires immediate action. Most of the things you describe are consistent with Major Depression. Please find somebody you trust and get help NOW. You are 14 years old and things will eventually get better for you... but you have to live to tell about it. You do have value and worth... Talk to your parents, a counselor, a friend... Anybody you trust. DO it now. Do it today.

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  • lovecats
    13 years ago

    Okay, I am older than you, (in my 20's) but what you have described here is exactly like myself and this began when I was around 12 years old and despite what others have said about your age, I would urge you not to ignore these feelings.
    It may be typical teenage issues, yes. But on the other hand it may not.
    I ignored my feelings completely for years and it was the wrong choice. It wasn't until recently that I actually went to a therapist and was diagnosed with Borderline Personality tendencies and also Sociopathic tendencies, which explained a lot and gave me some sort of relief, though of course being diagnosed doesn't just mean everything will go away.

    I would never harm animals either, in fact even when a dog did bite me once, I never had the urge to hurt it and I also genuinely feel a true connection with them.
    I also love writing and reading and writing had been extremely theraputic and a huge boredom beater for me, so I would suggest writing more.

    (I'm also a female INTP but I don't think that has anything to do with the other feelings!)

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  • mogeta
    13 years ago

    since you love animals and love writing novels and stuff, make your life worthwhile out of these things. don't kill yourself

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Don't let the Myers-Briggs test define who you are - it was designed to help people choose a suitable career, not tell you who you are.

    Being a female INTP is rare, but don't think of yourself as so special that you have to be negative about it. You are only 14 years old and your entire personality will evolve considerably over the next 10 years. Know your weakness (anti-social behavior) and work on them. Your description of your anti-social tendencies make you seem like you are being melodramatic and self-pitying.

    Trust me, I am an INTP too, things will get better for you as you get older and it's within your power to make them get better by working on the things that are holding you back, while cherishing the things that truly make you special. What I mean by that is; don't expect to ever become an emotional socializer who loves being around others all of the time, but don't become an angry shut-in either. By the way, my "I" is around 45% (so almost an E) most of the time, but I have to work at it.

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  • awelstoo
    13 years ago

    not everyone knows what INTP is guys...even when looking it up it seems to require much reading to fully understand..

    anyway you are either a sociopath or a psychopath (i forget the difference) or just a lame teenager. wait until you are 20 before making decisions about what you really are. im 20 and i still have no idea. just chill out and do whatever makes you happy. unless its killing yourself or others. thats stupid and pointless.

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