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I have a friend of mine that has only experience sexual activity once, and its just fingering between 2 girls. By the way i have no idea what's considered to be a way to lose your virginity. So is she considered to be a virgin or not?
Edit: guys please im not one of the girls fingering- my friend also gave me consent to post this and she wants to know if she's a virgin as well.
| Yes, she is a virgin | 28 | |
| No, she is not a virgin | 22 | |
| Not sure | 7 |
Virginity is a social construct invented to commodify women and also used to shame sexually inexperienced people. The harder you think about the definition of “virgin” the more it falls apart, does one thrust count, how do same sex couples “lose their virginities”, does it matter if a hymen is still intact after penetrative sex? Although I’m not a fan of the concept of virginity I once heard a lesbian woman say, “You have lost your virginity when you feel like you have” so your answer lies there- does she consider herself a “virgin”?
Fingering counts as having sex.
Sex is far from just penis in vagina. How do you think gays lose their virginity??
Not to mention some straight folks don't like penetration and prefer other types of sex.
I'm agree with SkullsNRoses. She gets to define it for herself.
Want another one: Please describe what "having sex" means. Is it just lovingly touching or kissing, full male female intercourse with mutual simultaneous orgasms, or something in the middle (and where would that be).
Every year there are about 20 typically younger ladies in the USA who claim that they are virgins prior to delivering babies.
They may admit that their boyfriend put their penis in them and may even know that he ejaculated in them - and sometimes multiple times or routinely; but do not count that as sex as they themselves did not have an orgasm (or in some cases did not have an orgasm at exactly the same time as he did).
All kinds of other weird explanations as well.
Even my wife and I had this discussion when it was decided to open our marriage more. We both had significantly different definitions of what it was to have sex (and she was far more permissive than I). We settled on a compromise definition for our agreement about in the middle (per our agreement we have to tell the other about a potential partner we want to have sex with - in advance, and gain acceptance from the other; so knowing what counts as sex is important).
I agree with what SkullsNRoses says.
And, seriously, why should she give a shit about whether she's entitled to wear that label? Nobody else - you included - should give a single damn about that.
The whole concept of virginity having some sort of intrinsic value is messed up. It's as stupid as saying that someone is a better person because they've never looked out of their tent-flap early on a crisp, still fall morning and seen the sunrise painting the snow-capped Rocky Mountains pink, or they've never wandered the deserted back alleys of Venice when all the tourists have gone home, or they've never eaten my mom's lemon meringue pie.
Believing that someone is a better person in some sense because they lack experience of an important part of human existence and human relationships is really dumb.
What's dumb is how you are acting as if sex is an important part of life and human relationships. That's really stupid. It's weird how you idiots think sex is important because you feel pleasure from it. Pleasure does not equal important. By the way, being a virgin makes you more pure than others. Sure, you're not a better person because you haven't engaged in the weird act, but you surely are more pure.
I mean, it's not your business if we find sex is an important part of life (of our lives), because what I find important, you may find it ridiculous. It's relative. And, just so you know, sex IS important, not because it gives pleasure to the involved people, but because of its role in nature.
You know, it's weird how you tell me it's not my business if you find sex important (like I ever indicated I thought it was my business), when Boojum is the one who brought up this ignorant bullshit. Just so you know, sex is NOT important. Pleasure or not. That's very hedonistic, and with that logic we might as well saying killing someone is important as long as the perpetrators are getting pleasure from it. Pleasure doesn't make something important.
I NEVER said sex was important because of the pleasure it gives to the involved ones. I said it was important because of its role in nature. You may find sex unimportant, and it's obviously ok, but calling other people out because they do is just weird. This being said, your whole "killing someone..." is not related to my explanation. Besides, how can you measure a person's purity based on a NATURAL act that DOES NOT HURT ANYONE (when it is consensual, obviously. And yes, killing is also natural, but it DOES hurt a living being, so you can't use it as an example)? Because, to my mind, that stuff about purity and how you lose it by not being a virgin is moral and religious bullshit. I mean, a person IS more innocent when they're a virgin than when they're having sex, but that doesn't necessarily influence someone's purity.
Hmm, looks like I read that part wrong.
Actually, yes I can. Nope, not religious and moral bullshit. It is a fact that you're more pure when you don't have sex. Sex is filthy, and having sex makes you just as filthy, whether you like it or not. Virginity does influence your purity. By the way, sorry, didn't know I struck a nerve there. FYI, killing doesn't always hurt a living human being.
Sex is literally the most important thing in the world. Without sex there is no life. You only exist because 2 people had sex.
Socially, not a virgin. Legitimately, still a virgin. After all the term is defined as a person who has never had sexual intercourse.
I could suck my own cock but until I came in someone else I considered myself to be a virgin. I was jacked off a Couple of times by someone else also and still considered myself to be a virgin.
If these 2 girls sound like they're sleeping together when they talk to eachother, they're not virgins anymore
The OP is obviously "one of the girls". Otherwise why would you even care if a "friend" was a virgin or not. But by definition it would be someone who has never had sexual intercourse. Being pure or chaste is way down the list of definitions. So technically finger banging won't affect your future little fib about you still being a virgin.
By the way my friend knows im posting this and gave me the consent to post it. She wanna know as well.