if a man has sex with only men but hasn't yet told his family he's still gay.
however choice does play a part in this.
if a man choses to not have sex with men then should we still call him gay for fitting stereotypes?
A good example I have... I so wish I knew where to find this too, was an article I had to write about back in my human sexuality class in college. I picked 3 articles really, the last one being a whim because "hot leather on a saturday night" sounded unusual.
It turned about to be an article a man wrote about his trip to a gay bar.
Unlike the swishy-gay that the media portrays, this bar was "rough men only". No drag queens, no fancy loafers... men in jeans, boots, and chains.
In a way it's proof that "gay" and "effeminate" don't always go hand-in-hand. Sometimes gay men are the typical "man's man" and enjoy all things masculine
If a man is attracted to other men, then he is gay. The way a man walks or sits, does not determine his sexual orientation.
Even though a lot of gay men act girly sometimes, that is not what made them gay. What made them gay is the moment they looked at a man and said "gosh I'm attracted to him."
So, if a gay man hasn't come out, it doesn't make him less gay that the other gay men who came out.
"So, if a gay man hasn't come out, it doesn't make him less gay that the other gay men who came out."
That's what I was wondering about.
I just have a feeling (we were living together for two years, I know him) that he is attracted to guys.
The things that I listed were the some of the typical things that other people who know him have brought up to me, so it got me wondering. I thought that other people would relate to those examples. I didn't expect I would be called names and accused of being a homophobe. [I've deleted the more ignorant comments, that's why you don't see them. but i did]
Is my ex-boyfriend gay?
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"coming out" is different than "having sex"
if a man has sex with only men but hasn't yet told his family he's still gay.
however choice does play a part in this.
if a man choses to not have sex with men then should we still call him gay for fitting stereotypes?
A good example I have... I so wish I knew where to find this too, was an article I had to write about back in my human sexuality class in college. I picked 3 articles really, the last one being a whim because "hot leather on a saturday night" sounded unusual.
It turned about to be an article a man wrote about his trip to a gay bar.
Unlike the swishy-gay that the media portrays, this bar was "rough men only". No drag queens, no fancy loafers... men in jeans, boots, and chains.
In a way it's proof that "gay" and "effeminate" don't always go hand-in-hand. Sometimes gay men are the typical "man's man" and enjoy all things masculine
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11 years ago
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So a man is not gay until he has sex with another man. What about virgins? I'm so confused about all this.
Another gay friend of mine (a self-professed gay man) said that he had sex with women for years before he had his first sexual encounter with a man.
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11 years ago
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If a man is attracted to other men, then he is gay. The way a man walks or sits, does not determine his sexual orientation.
Even though a lot of gay men act girly sometimes, that is not what made them gay. What made them gay is the moment they looked at a man and said "gosh I'm attracted to him."
So, if a gay man hasn't come out, it doesn't make him less gay that the other gay men who came out.
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11 years ago
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"So, if a gay man hasn't come out, it doesn't make him less gay that the other gay men who came out."
That's what I was wondering about.
I just have a feeling (we were living together for two years, I know him) that he is attracted to guys.
The things that I listed were the some of the typical things that other people who know him have brought up to me, so it got me wondering. I thought that other people would relate to those examples. I didn't expect I would be called names and accused of being a homophobe. [I've deleted the more ignorant comments, that's why you don't see them. but i did]
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Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
11 years ago
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you're confusing "gay" with "sexually active homosexual"
if a man choses to not be gay then let him keep that choice.