if a man has sex with only men but hasn't yet told his family he's still gay.
however choice does play a part in this.
if a man choses to not have sex with men then should we still call him gay for fitting stereotypes?
A good example I have... I so wish I knew where to find this too, was an article I had to write about back in my human sexuality class in college. I picked 3 articles really, the last one being a whim because "hot leather on a saturday night" sounded unusual.
It turned about to be an article a man wrote about his trip to a gay bar.
Unlike the swishy-gay that the media portrays, this bar was "rough men only". No drag queens, no fancy loafers... men in jeans, boots, and chains.
In a way it's proof that "gay" and "effeminate" don't always go hand-in-hand. Sometimes gay men are the typical "man's man" and enjoy all things masculine
If a man is attracted to other men, then he is gay. The way a man walks or sits, does not determine his sexual orientation.
Even though a lot of gay men act girly sometimes, that is not what made them gay. What made them gay is the moment they looked at a man and said "gosh I'm attracted to him."
So, if a gay man hasn't come out, it doesn't make him less gay that the other gay men who came out.
"So, if a gay man hasn't come out, it doesn't make him less gay that the other gay men who came out."
That's what I was wondering about.
I just have a feeling (we were living together for two years, I know him) that he is attracted to guys.
The things that I listed were the some of the typical things that other people who know him have brought up to me, so it got me wondering. I thought that other people would relate to those examples. I didn't expect I would be called names and accused of being a homophobe. [I've deleted the more ignorant comments, that's why you don't see them. but i did]
Is my ex-boyfriend gay?
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What makes a man gay - sex with other men only.
Sports, dressing... all just hollywood stereotypes.
Gay men CAN be macho. there's no rule that says they have to turn into simpering girls just because they like cock
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Anonymous Post Author
11 years ago
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Then are gay men who haven't come out yet, are they still gay?
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Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
11 years ago
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"coming out" is different than "having sex"
if a man has sex with only men but hasn't yet told his family he's still gay.
however choice does play a part in this.
if a man choses to not have sex with men then should we still call him gay for fitting stereotypes?
A good example I have... I so wish I knew where to find this too, was an article I had to write about back in my human sexuality class in college. I picked 3 articles really, the last one being a whim because "hot leather on a saturday night" sounded unusual.
It turned about to be an article a man wrote about his trip to a gay bar.
Unlike the swishy-gay that the media portrays, this bar was "rough men only". No drag queens, no fancy loafers... men in jeans, boots, and chains.
In a way it's proof that "gay" and "effeminate" don't always go hand-in-hand. Sometimes gay men are the typical "man's man" and enjoy all things masculine
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11 years ago
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So a man is not gay until he has sex with another man. What about virgins? I'm so confused about all this.
Another gay friend of mine (a self-professed gay man) said that he had sex with women for years before he had his first sexual encounter with a man.
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-WhySoSerious-
11 years ago
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If a man is attracted to other men, then he is gay. The way a man walks or sits, does not determine his sexual orientation.
Even though a lot of gay men act girly sometimes, that is not what made them gay. What made them gay is the moment they looked at a man and said "gosh I'm attracted to him."
So, if a gay man hasn't come out, it doesn't make him less gay that the other gay men who came out.
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11 years ago
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"So, if a gay man hasn't come out, it doesn't make him less gay that the other gay men who came out."
That's what I was wondering about.
I just have a feeling (we were living together for two years, I know him) that he is attracted to guys.
The things that I listed were the some of the typical things that other people who know him have brought up to me, so it got me wondering. I thought that other people would relate to those examples. I didn't expect I would be called names and accused of being a homophobe. [I've deleted the more ignorant comments, that's why you don't see them. but i did]
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Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
11 years ago
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you're confusing "gay" with "sexually active homosexual"
if a man choses to not be gay then let him keep that choice.