It's not about changing him. It's about including her. Men tend to exclude us women often either to shield us from stress or problems they think they can handle alone. We can't fix his depression, and it would be foolish/childish to do so. It's about him talking all his emotions out, and us as a couple working through it.
Often times when men get upset, they become moody, withdrawn, etc when they normally aren't, especially if your spent years with the person in the same living space. All we serious girlfriends or caring wives want is to understand so we can provide any insight, support, or simply cry with you so you're not alone. When you guys shut us out even when were trying so hard really hurts us deeply and makes us feel pointless; as in if we, the closest person to you and mother of your children, cant be someone you trust enough to be your helping hand, then why am I even here? Sex?
As for my advice to her, I discovered that while I was doing me when he was continuing to do him with all the withdrawing and such. I was tired of being nice, and approaching him with the "I feel...," because it didn't work. He'll acknowledge my words, but just wasnt getting it. It wasn't going through until I exploded. I didn't belittle him at all, but I was done being excluded, or being his girl and that it. He refused to make me his teammate. It's annoying because haven't I proven myself through the years that I can handle his weight or that we can support each other? Anyway, that's where my advice was coming from, my problems are all fixed, and we're better and more honest/open with each other. I was just hoping this could help the OP, but thanks for the comment.
Is my boyfriend a jerk?
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It's not about changing him. It's about including her. Men tend to exclude us women often either to shield us from stress or problems they think they can handle alone. We can't fix his depression, and it would be foolish/childish to do so. It's about him talking all his emotions out, and us as a couple working through it.
Often times when men get upset, they become moody, withdrawn, etc when they normally aren't, especially if your spent years with the person in the same living space. All we serious girlfriends or caring wives want is to understand so we can provide any insight, support, or simply cry with you so you're not alone. When you guys shut us out even when were trying so hard really hurts us deeply and makes us feel pointless; as in if we, the closest person to you and mother of your children, cant be someone you trust enough to be your helping hand, then why am I even here? Sex?
As for my advice to her, I discovered that while I was doing me when he was continuing to do him with all the withdrawing and such. I was tired of being nice, and approaching him with the "I feel...," because it didn't work. He'll acknowledge my words, but just wasnt getting it. It wasn't going through until I exploded. I didn't belittle him at all, but I was done being excluded, or being his girl and that it. He refused to make me his teammate. It's annoying because haven't I proven myself through the years that I can handle his weight or that we can support each other? Anyway, that's where my advice was coming from, my problems are all fixed, and we're better and more honest/open with each other. I was just hoping this could help the OP, but thanks for the comment.