Well, don't give him too much time, or too many chances. Right now it's just you, and your dog, but can you imagine what it would do like it you had kids added to the equation with this awful jerk?
If a guy loses his shit everytime there's a crisis that's not a good guy to be with.
It's me, my two dogs and my cat. I'm glad you mentioned children. I'm turning 28.he's 33 and... I cannot see him changing or turning into someone I want to raise kids with. This realization is really painful.
I'm also worried his life will turn to utter shit if I leave. But again... This isn't my problem. I cannot be dragged down with him. Me and my animals have to come first.
It's heartbreaking. We were together for nearly four years before moving in together. He said all this time he feared things would turn shitty if we moved in together and now we've barely lasted for a year after this.
He's tried to send hearts and engage me in normal daily contact now that I'm at work but I ignored him until I reminded him to pay rent, then I stopped replying again. I need to let him know that this is serious. I'm considering calling one of our Hotlines for women who's victims of abusive men. I think it would do me good to hear what they have to say.
This was someone whom I pictured a future with. But I just can't think of any legitimate reasons to stay... The list of the negative aspects are so much longer...
Yes, you sound like you know what's up, girl. You must always put yourself, and your pets first. His problems are not your fault, and it's never okay for him to abuse you, and or your pets.
He's proven that he isn't husband, or father material so he's just a waste of your precious time. Guys like him aren't worth the trouble.
If he's abusing you verbally there's a good chance that it will get worse. How long has he been acting abusive?
He's been like this for years. Very quick to anger and lacks the understanding I need. Now I know I can't just hide behind my ADHD and autism and act however I want. But then he belittles me for being angry when I drop something (I go for a loud "Fuck!" directed at nothing and then I proceed with what I'm doing) or when he tells me how much he hates it when I shut down and act weird when the tension at home is too much and I explain that it's an autistic trait that I can't help. I'm not rude, I don't shout at him I just... Can't cope. I think I deserve basic understanding and respect from the one I'm with.
I don't think he'd ever hit me. Then again I've always backed away when it's tense.
I now know that seeing as he's always been super cute and affectionate the day after we've had an argument that's likely also a part of the abuse.
I don't think he knows himself what he's doing and that it's as harmful as it is. Maybe that's why it's so difficult for me to cope with it.
I ended it. I feel relieved. Now it will be a couple of anxious months before everything is out of the way. Been sleeping on friends couches. Going back today because I need to change clothes and make sure there isn't tons of moldy shit in the sink and garbage littering everywhere.
Is my boyfriend a jerk?
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It's starting to sound a lot like the only sane option left. Unless he shapes up...
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RoseIsabella
4 years ago
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Well, don't give him too much time, or too many chances. Right now it's just you, and your dog, but can you imagine what it would do like it you had kids added to the equation with this awful jerk?
If a guy loses his shit everytime there's a crisis that's not a good guy to be with.
--
Anonymous Post Author
4 years ago
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It's me, my two dogs and my cat. I'm glad you mentioned children. I'm turning 28.he's 33 and... I cannot see him changing or turning into someone I want to raise kids with. This realization is really painful.
I'm also worried his life will turn to utter shit if I leave. But again... This isn't my problem. I cannot be dragged down with him. Me and my animals have to come first.
It's heartbreaking. We were together for nearly four years before moving in together. He said all this time he feared things would turn shitty if we moved in together and now we've barely lasted for a year after this.
He's tried to send hearts and engage me in normal daily contact now that I'm at work but I ignored him until I reminded him to pay rent, then I stopped replying again. I need to let him know that this is serious. I'm considering calling one of our Hotlines for women who's victims of abusive men. I think it would do me good to hear what they have to say.
This was someone whom I pictured a future with. But I just can't think of any legitimate reasons to stay... The list of the negative aspects are so much longer...
--
RoseIsabella
4 years ago
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Yes, you sound like you know what's up, girl. You must always put yourself, and your pets first. His problems are not your fault, and it's never okay for him to abuse you, and or your pets.
He's proven that he isn't husband, or father material so he's just a waste of your precious time. Guys like him aren't worth the trouble.
If he's abusing you verbally there's a good chance that it will get worse. How long has he been acting abusive?
--
Anonymous Post Author
4 years ago
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He's been like this for years. Very quick to anger and lacks the understanding I need. Now I know I can't just hide behind my ADHD and autism and act however I want. But then he belittles me for being angry when I drop something (I go for a loud "Fuck!" directed at nothing and then I proceed with what I'm doing) or when he tells me how much he hates it when I shut down and act weird when the tension at home is too much and I explain that it's an autistic trait that I can't help. I'm not rude, I don't shout at him I just... Can't cope. I think I deserve basic understanding and respect from the one I'm with.
I don't think he'd ever hit me. Then again I've always backed away when it's tense.
I now know that seeing as he's always been super cute and affectionate the day after we've had an argument that's likely also a part of the abuse.
I don't think he knows himself what he's doing and that it's as harmful as it is. Maybe that's why it's so difficult for me to cope with it.
--
RoseIsabella
4 years ago
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It's not okay for him to treat you badly.
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(s)aint
4 years ago
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I ended it. I feel relieved. Now it will be a couple of anxious months before everything is out of the way. Been sleeping on friends couches. Going back today because I need to change clothes and make sure there isn't tons of moldy shit in the sink and garbage littering everywhere.