Is love real?
Is love real or just something in movies?
Do you love your longterm significant other in a way that people love each other in movies and wouldnt want anyone else? Like not because you're content because it's like a stable, safe relationship but because you're madly in love.
I don't really want to feel content in a relationship. I want to be very in love. I find myself falling in love less and less often though. Maybe eventually I will settle for someone who's nice to me so I don't have to die alone and so I can have a family. It feels increasingly hopeless. I've only been madly in love once when I was a high school kid, that guy wasn't even kind nor did we have anything in common. I cringe thinking about him now. I loved my ex and I still do even though we havent talked in a few years because even though things could be chaotic he has a kind heart and we tried our best. I wasnt madly in love though but at one point I couldnt imagine myself with anyone else but that didnt last long really. Not like the first time I fell in love and still lived an illusion. Then I hear that love is supposed to feel "safe". What the actual fuck does that mean? Yeah of course it should feel safe but what about madly in love feelings? I feel safe around my platonic male friends but I sure as hell don't wanna date them. We dont have that sort of chemistry plus I wouldnt be compatible with them in terms of what we want and how we are. It sounds really fucking depressing to be with someone because it's secure and nice, if that's all it is. Does that mean love is not real then? I am so scared of being stuck with someone who makes me miserable. I am too comfortable by myself to be okay with that thought.